


All I ever needed (on hiatus, not abandoned)

by BlueberryMonarch



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:23:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9516791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueberryMonarch/pseuds/BlueberryMonarch
Summary: Alec is a student studying in Liverpool, England and is in a platonic relationship with Lydia.Alec lives in a shared student flat with Jace and Clary and after Simon moved out last semester, they are looking for someone to move in.. that someone is Magnus.NB! Not beta-read.





	1. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>    
>  [Follow me on Twitter (link)](https://twitter.com/BBMonarch)   
> 

Alec got out of the black cab and pulled his suitcase with him, looking up at the building in front of him. If you didn’t know there was a flat up there, you never would have guessed with all the store fronts covering the first floors of this street. Pulling the keys out of his pocket, he walked up to the small door that was trapped between a wok-take-away and some store Alec had actually never been into before. Opening the door, Alec escaped the rain outside and quickly made his way up the narrow staircase until he reached the second floor.

Everything in this building seemed old and creaky, including the door that would lead him into the flat. Having been home for the summer had been good but he had actually missed this place, even if it meant living almost on top of other people and with windows that didn’t fully close so it was always a little draft. It was OK.

“Alec, bro” Jace’s voice run though the small flat as son as Alec had opened the door. The flat only had 4 rooms - a living room/kitchen, a bathroom and two bedrooms so that Jace’s voice filled the flat didn’t actually say much about the volume.

“Jace” Alec smiled and pulled his suitcase in and closed the door, leaning against the door and giving it an extra push for it to close properly behind him before turning to greet Jace.

“How was your summer?” Jace asked and gave him one of those ‘bro’ hugs with the handshake and the pat on the back.

“Dull, but OK” Alec admitted "Yours?"

“Mine was pretty dull as well” Jace grabbed his suitcase for him and rolled it over towards the room Jace and he had shared the first year. The second year, Jace had moved into the next room when he and Clary had hooked up and Clary’s friend Simon had moved over to stay with Alec. This, the third year- Simon had moved out and Jace and Clary still shared a room so Jace had looked for someone new to rent half the room. It wasn’t a huge room, but Liverpool was overcrowded with students who needed some place to stay and neither Clary, Jace or himself wanted to pay more rent than they already did so Alec had agreed for them to find someone new.

“You found someone then?” Alec asked as he followed Jace into the room and his question was answered before Jace had a time to reply. The bed opposite side of the room of where Alec’s bed was had a suitcase on it - a purple suitcase with some kind of floral pattern on it. “You found a girl willing to live in this dump?” Alec laughed as Jace pushed his suitcase over to the bed.

“Nah, It's a guy” Jace smiled “I met him first time earlier today, he works part-time down at Modo as a bartender and had a day shift so he couldn’t wait for you to come, but he will meet us after. He seemed like a good guy when I talked to him on the phone and he seemed friendly now, if nothing else a little flashy.. but he could pay the deposit AND three months rent up front so, I was sold”

“Student?” Alec asked as he walked over to the bed and pulled the suitcase up onto the bed and opened it, preferring to get unpacked right away.

“I think so, but I think he said he wouldn't go this year.. something about missing the deadline, but I think he studied at LIPA two years ago” Jace said and walked over to a chair that stood next to Alec's bed that he used as a makeshift bedside table and sat down.

“LIPA? Arts or music then.. I guess that fits if you said he was a bit flashy” Alec said as he unpacked, showing his cloths into his closet.

“Mm hm” Jace nodded.

“Where is Clary?” Alec asked and looked over at Jace. It was strange, he had only met Jace when he moved over here two years ago but it sometimes felt like he had known him his entire life.

“She is out shopping I think, she will join us later” Jace was playing with his phone but paid enough attention to keep the conversation going “How is Lydia, have you talked to her since you landed?”

Alec shook his head, he really should text or call her and let her know that he had got there safe, but she also hadn’t texted him so he didn’t feel too bad about it.

“I don’t know how you do it bro, are you really sure that this thing is something to go for?” Jace didn’t look up.

“What we have works perfectly well, you bring it up all the time but we are OK with waiting..” Alec was a little sick of Jace pestering him about his relationship with Lydia, but he couldn’t get him to shut up about anything and especially not this and about them waiting.

“I was't thinking about that now, but since you mention it.. no guy in his early twenties are happy to wait until he gets married on this side of the pond, mate.. You Americans must be some kind of alien race” Jace looked up now but Alec was back to unpacking and decided to not look at him.

“I think you are too hung up on my sex life” Alec shook his head to himself.

“What sex life? You’ve been dating for TWO years and I’ve seen you guys kiss maybe 5 times.. the word ‘sex’ itself is offended you even pretend to have anything to do with it” Jace laughed, having more fun with the subject than Alec was.

“I have told you, I’m OK with how things are between me and Lydia” Alec emptied the last of the stuff from the suitcase onto the bed before closing it and pushing it under his bed.

“Weirdo” Jace smiled.

“Asshole” Alec replied but returned the smile, it was only friendly banter after all.

They both looked at each other for a little bit before Jace got up.

“Beer? No classes for three days.. we need to get shitfaced while we can” Jace gave a wide grin.

“I’ll come for a few but I actually got classes I need to prepare for before they start” Alec said, not being as big of a drinker as Jace, but he was British so it was hard to compete.

“Fine, fine.. Change into something less American and we’ll go.. I’ll text Clary and the new guy, and they can catch up later”. Jace was already on his way out the door as he spoke and Alec looked at his closet.  
  
He didn’t have anything less American.  
  
  
\------  
  
  
Jace was already on his third pint by the time Clary and Simon came to join them at McCooley's. Simon talked about the flat he now shared with some guy who studied at John Moores University and how great the flat was. Alec didn't ask too many questions, finding it weird that Simon could afford to live in a flat that part of the city with just ONE person - but he guessed he had got lucky.

Alec had just got his third pint which wasn't much compared to Jace’s soon finished fifth when a guy pulls up a chair from the table next to them and slip in between Jace and Clary. The guy had smooth features, a warm tan and styled hair with glitter(?) in it. He also seemed to be wearing some make-up and his cloths were, visible.

“You already look drunk, if you are I will be so disappointed” The guy said and Alec found himself smiling a little without knowing the reason.

“But I am not though, so ten points to Gryffindor for that..” Jace flash him a wide grin.

“Of course you would want to be Gryffindor, how predictable” The good looking man laughed before he looked around the table like he just noticed that Simon and Alec was there. Alec wasn’t sure, but it felt like his eyes lingered slightly at him before he looked back at Jace.

“What house would you be?” Jace smiled “oh, no wait.. before you say anything.. this is Simon” Jace gestured at Simon and the guy stretched out his hand and shook Simon’s “And this is Alec, that's the guy you’ll be crashing with this year” Jace said and gestured at Alec who reached out to meet the guys hand, still smiling and he could swear that they got one of those electric shocks when they shook hands- but the guy didn’t react so Alec didn’t comment on it.

“And this is Magnus, who I guess would be what? Slytherin?” Jace smirked.

Alec still smiled as Magnus pulled his hand back and watched him laugh and nod.

“And you say I am predictable? I could smell Slytherin on you” Jace had a sip of his beer.

“That's the two most common houses to pick though” Clary added.

“What houses would you guys be then?” Magnus asked and looked around the table.

“I took the Pottermore quiz and I belong to Gryffindor” Clary beamed and blew a kiss in Jace’s direction.

“I don’t really know, I like all the houses” Simon answered “I’ll take one of the American houses”.

“Lame” Jace answered and shook his head.

Alec didn’t realise that everyone were looking at him before Jace snapped his fingers in front of him to get his attention.

“What?” Alec shifted a little over.

“What house would you be in?” Magnus asked.

“Hufflepuff” Alec answered, having always identified with that house even if no one took it seriously.

“That sounds about right” Jace laughed “That's the weird house and you would fit right in”

“Actually, Hufflepuffs are hard working, patient, loyal and play fair” Magnus corrected and smiled over at Alec who returned it before grabbing his beer and keeping the glass against his lips as he tried to empty the rest of it in one go- feeling a little strange.

“How many times have you watched Harry Potter to remember that?” Alec could hear Jace ask Magnus.

“Watched AND read.. and more times than I feel comfortable admitting to in public” Magnus laughed.  
  
  
\----  
  
  
They stayed there drinking until Jace couldn’t stand up straight any more and Clary was a giggling mess. Alec helped steady Jace and Magnus was making sure that Clary was alright as they made their way home, which was luckily just around the corner from Concert Square. Alec had said he wouldn't stay out too long, but he had actually had a lot of fun so he had changed his mind.

Having helped Jace into bed and watched as Clary had crawled on top of him before passing out, Alec went to the bathroom and got ready for bed before then making his way into the bedroom- seeing Magnus being busy unpacking his suitcase.

“Erm.. thanks for, you know, helping out with getting them back and all” Alec said, feeling a little bit weird all of a sudden.

“Don’t think about it, what are flat mates for if not to help get the others home safe” Magnus looked at him over his shoulder and smiled.

“Yeah, I guess” Alec nodded and walked over to his bed, getting undressed down to his boxer briefs before getting into bed and pulling the cover up to right under his chin while rolling over on his side, watching Magnus move about.

Magnus didn’t make much noise. He got everything into the closet, folded and hung up all nicely before he shoved the suitcase under the bed like Alec had done earlier. Alec wondered if he maybe studied dance at LIPA, rarely seeing guys move quite like he did. Magnus had turned off the lights not long after that and then disappeared into the hall and bathroom. Alec fell asleep before he returned.  
  
  
\----  
  
  
The three days that they had off before classes were back had flown by. Jace had been out every night with Clary and Alec had stayed in to read up on everything they had done the year before and what they were gonna start this semester. Magnus was working during the day and one night he had gone out with Jace and Clary and the other he had spent in the living room watching TV- having kept the volume down enough for Alec to not get disturbed which was a welcome change to any of the others who had lived there.

Alec studied Computer Science and it seemed to take a lot more out of him than what Jace and Clary's classes took out of them, or maybe it just came easier to them- either way, Alec had always spent more time on his studies than anyone else. The first few weeks wasn’t too hard and a lot of what they were doing was things Alec had just read up on again, so the classes flew by and he could spend his afternoons reading up on upcoming work.

Clary and Jace stayed in about half the time but even when they didn't go out to drink they would go out and just do stuff together. Alec still hadn’t met up with Lydia outside class, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Jace, but he hadn’t made too many jokes.

  
First day of the third week and Jace and Clary were out on one of their dates, Alec sat in the living room (if you could call it that) and watched some TV when Magnus came back from work.

Alec gave him a nod but stayed put and looked back at the TV, watching some re-runs of Top Gear on Dave. About ten minutes later, Magnus came into the room and grabbed a Lucozade out of the fridge before dropping down on the couch next to Alec.

“You staying in again?” Magnus asked and Alec turned his head to look at him, still finding that he couldn’t help but smile most of the time with Magnus - happy that they were getting along so well.

“Yeah, that's the plan” Alec nodded and looked back at the TV, but glancing over at Magnus now and then.

“Where are Clace?” Magnus was speaking into the bottle of Lucozade.

“Who?” Alec frowned.

“That's what I've decided to call them, Clary and Jace.. it’s a merging of their names” Magnus said and pulled his legs up under himself on the couch.

“Sounds like something you'd find in a swamp.. anyway, they are out.. another date night” Alec glanced over at Magnus again.

“They have a lot of those, its nice though.. They seem to have a really good relationship”.

“Mm hm” Alec agreed.

“Why don’t you go out? If Jace can find someone.. you should have no problem” Magnus sounded almost teasing.

Alec cleared his throat “I have a girlfriend” he said, finding that he was a little unwilling to say it out loud.

“Oh” Magnus sounded.. disappointed? “Where does she live?”

“Up by Stanly Park” Alec answered, keeping his eyes on the screen now.

“Stanly Park? Here in Liverpool? Why haven’t I seen her?”

“She hasn’t been here, I see her at Uni” Alec said, chewing on his lower lip.

Magnus was silent for a little while and they just sat there and watched Top Gear.

“When you say she hasn’t been here, you mean since I moved in right?” Magnus asked and broke the silence.

“Erm, no.. she has never been here, we only see each other at Uni and a few times when she wants to go out” Alec played with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Oh” Magnus started “When she wants.. and she is never here and you never at hers? so you don't.. wow, you must have the willpower of a thousand men” Magnus was smiling - Alec could see it in the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, I guess. She wants to wait” Alec said and went about chewing on his lip again.

“Do you?” Magnus asked, and Alec couldn’t remember anyone ever having asked him that so he was a bit taken back and didn’t know what to answer. Looking over at Magnus, he just shrugged his shoulders a little.

“I guess I am OK with it” Alec said when he finally found the words. He didn’t know why he was telling Magnus any of this “I know it sounds stupid but, I really like her but I don’t really want to..you know, I have never really wanted to with anyone”.

“You’ve never?” Magnus looked genuinely surprised.

“I have, once when I first moved here, with a girl I met.. but I couldn’t finish, I hardly can on my own” Alec answered without thinking, having never admitted that to anyone before- it was just something about Magnus and the fact that Magnus was open about everything in his life that made him feel comfortable enough to open up. “You are gay, right?”

“Bisexual actually” Magnus corrected.

“How did you know?” Alec bit his lip. He didn’t know why but he didn’t really want to be gay and had tried to ignore even the idea of it for years. His parents were kind, but they were really conservative and the subject had of course never been a subject in the house or in the strict schools he had attended.

“I wish I could tell you some magical story, but I just always knew.” Magnus looked at him with eyes filled with something that felt like understanding “Do you think you might be gay?”

“Maybe” Alec swallowed, never having got this far in admitting it to himself even “But it doesn’t fit into my plans really..” he added, hearing it himself when it came out of his mouth and how stupid it had sounded.

Looking straight at Magnus, Alec was about to say something - something he couldn’t remember when suddenly Magnus had moved over and his lips were pressing against his. It felt weird and new.. and welcome- and when Magnus pulled back not long after, Alec realised that he wish he hadn’t. Magnus was still within reach and Alec could feel his heart beat so hard in his chest that it was almost breaking out as he closed the gap between them for the second time and kissed him.

Magnus’ lips were moist now like he had licked his lips between the first and second kiss and he tasted of Lucozade and warmth. Alec felt unsure as he reached up and around to the back of Magnus’ neck, feeling his short hair tickle against his fingertips as he moved his hand up to the back of his head- willingly deepening the kiss as their tongues found each other. Shivers run down his spine when Magnus pressed a hand against his chest to steady himself, the touch alone made Alec let out a small desperate sound.

They both stayed, neither of them wanting to pull back for longer than it took any of them to catch their breath and Magnus hands were wandering a little more freely over Alec’s upper body and arms. Alec was lost in the moment but jumped at the sound of the door to the flat being pushed open out in the hall and he quickly pulled back. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Alec sat back trying to look like nothing had happened and Magnus seemed to do the same.

When Jace and Clary came in from the hall they both smiled at them without either of them saying anything. They hardly said a word to each other the rest of the day with Jace and Clary both joining them in the living room. Alec went to bed early, too early, and after tossing and turning for hours- fell asleep before Magnus went to bed.


	2. Clear the air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>    
>  [Follow me on Twitter (link)](https://twitter.com/BBMonarch)   
> 

Days passed by without either Alec or Magnus mentioning anything about what had happened and after just a few, Alec was getting a little more comfortable again and didn’t feel the need to run out of the room whenever Magnus entered it. Jace and Clary didn’t seemed to be onto what had happened, which they of course weren’t if Alec actually thought about it- but he had worried. Alec struggled to not think about it though, like all the time, and after it had happened he became overly conscious about how he looked at Magnus and how often he did.

“Coffee?”

Alec almost jumped out of the chair he sat in, having been caught off guard.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”

Alec turned and looked at Magnus who had come into the room and was holding out a paper cup from Costa.

“Oh, no it’s OK I was just, eh, you know..” Alec started and rubbed his eyes, not actually having paid attention to the screen but it didn’t mean he had blinked enough for them to not feel dry and sore.

“Working? You looked like you might need a break. Coffee?” Magnus was smiling, still holding out the cup.

“Sure, thank you” Alec smiled and took the cup offered to him, removing the lid and happy to see that it was just black coffee.

“Do you think you’ll be busy all day today?” Magnus grabbed the wooden chair that stood next to the desk Alec sat at and straddled it, leaning over the back of it.

Taking a sip of the still warm coffee, Alec made a face “I don’t know.. are you guys going out?”

“No, or maybe.. Simon and his roommate are going to a football game” Magnus had his own cup, but he was keeping the lid on and drinking though the little hole in it “He asked if we wanted to come, since Clary and Jace declined.. Jace saying something about it being the wrong team”

“You like soccer?” Alec gave a crocked smile.

“I very much doubt it, but I’ve never been to a game and I figured it would be good to get you out of the flat at least once this weekend- for some fresh air” Magnus returned his smile.

“You talk like..” Alec stopped and quickly looked at the screen in front of him, not wanting to finish what he had started saying “erm, I don’t know.. I have a lot to read up on”.

Magnus didn’t seem to notice where he had almost went with it.

“Oh, come on.. It will be fun and you get the ticket for free, and I hear those things are like £45 each usually” Magnus reached over and nudged his shoulder.

“I dunno” Alec bit his lip as he looked at the screen, knowing fully well he was ahead on his studies and couldn’t really blame not going on that “When is it?”

“Half five, come on Alexander”

Alec wasn’t used to anyone using his full name but he didn’t comment on it and instead just looked at the time on his computer.

“Half past?”

“Yeah, if you say yes we have to go in about 20 minutes” Magnus beamed, clearly already taking his interest as a yes.

“Ok, I guess” Alec looked over at Magnus and tried to not look stupid as he smiled “Who are playing?”

“Great” Magnus had another sip of his coffee “Simon said Anfield so that would be Liverpool, and they are playing some London team.. just not the right one according to Jace”

Alec nodded, still not having been to a football game since he first came here over two years ago, always having wanted to go though.

“I’m gonna text Simon and say that we’re in and take a quick shower.. be ready in twenty then”

Alec nodded and watched as Magnus got up and headed out of the room, following him with his eyes a little too closely for his own liking.

 

——

 

Magnus had ordered a Delta Taxi and they had made their way up to the ground and more or less pushed into a pub right across the street from Anfield called The Park. The pub was probably a little run down, but it was hard to actually get a great look of the place with the massive amount of people that were in there. Alec had managed to push his way to the bar and get both him and Magnus a beer (it wasn’t any fancy drinks like Magnus usually had on sale for obvious reasons).

There was a backyard of sorts that was connected to the pub and once they got out there, it was at least room to move a little. Simon and his roommate had found them 15 minutes later, which was impressive considering the crowd size. His roommate was a guy called Raphael which also was from the US, but he had lived in Liverpool for three years now and had fallen in love with the football club for some reason. He dressed and acted like he would bleed money if cut, but was still friendly enough and didn’t seem uncomfortable with the crowd he didn’t look like he would fit with.

On their way into the ground, Magnus had stopped and bought some scarves in the colours of Liverpool and wrapped one around Alec’s shoulders and one around his own. Raphael and Simon already had some and therefore ended up a fair few steps ahead of them as they didn’t stop to wait.

“You think he is Simon’s sugar daddy?” Magnus asked as they headed for the turnstiles.

“What?” Alec was a little surprised by the topic and looked at Magnus who was smiling up at him as they walked.

“Come on. He is clearly wealthy and I talked with Clary who said that there is NO way Simon could afford half the rent where they are staying” Magnus winked at him and Alec felt a little strange thinking about what Magnus was insinuating.

“Erm.. maybe he is just really friendly?” Alec tried.

“I doubt it, the way he keeps checking Simon out.. If he isn’t already, he wants to tap that” Magnus said just before they got separated to go though the narrow turnstiles.

Alec didn’t know what to say, not sure he wanted to think about it either.

“Simon could do worse though, Raphael is a good looking man” Magnus added when they met up again on the inside.

Alec didn’t know why, but as much as he had felt a little uncomfortable with the subject, hearing that Magnus found Raphael attractive made him a little annoyed on top of that.

“If you say so” Alec just huffed as they climbed the stairs to reach block 205.

They didn’t talk more about it after that, Alec wan’t sure if Magnus had realised that he was uncomfortable with the subject or if he was just done with it himself.

 

——

 

Liverpool had played Arsenal and the game had ended with a 3-2 victory to Liverpool which had made the home crowd go absolutely crazy. Alec had been surprised with how much he had been carried away with everything, and Magnus who had insisted after the game that he had thought it was OK but nothing more had been jumping up and down while shouting though most of the game.

It had been impossible to find a taxi after the game, so all four of them had just followed the crowd and had walked half way back down to the city centre before the crowd was thinned out enough for them to be able to catch a black cam the remaining way. Back at Concert Square, Simon had wanted to go to Mono witch Magnus had laid down veto against because he worked there and they had ended up in Walkabout. Clary and Jace had joined them about 30 minutes later and Jace and Raphael had ended up having a rather heated discussion about wether Chelsea or Liverpool were the better team.

Magnus had been talking with Simon about something which seemed personal and private in the way they sat and how low they were talking, which had left Alec with Clary. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Clary, he did, he just didn’t have anything in common with her except that they both though Jace was pretty awesome- but even there, in different ways.

After 3 pints, Alec excused himself and decided to head back to the flat. Jace had tried to convince him to stay, but Alec really didn’t feel like hanging around drinking just for the sake of it. Alec had thought about maybe trying to text Lydia to see how she was and if she wanted to maybe do something as it was still early- but the longer he thought about it the less he wanted her to say yes if he did and in the end decided to not.

Back at the flat, Alec had taken a shower and changed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt and hung out on his own in the living room/kitchen eating a bowl of cereal and watching re-runs of Family Guy on ITV 2 for about two hours before heading to bed, deciding to just read instead. He had barely had time to read one page when he heard the door out in the hall being opened and closed and figured the rest of them had all come back by the sound of it.

Sitting in the bed with his bare back against the wall, Alec could hear Clary giggling but not much else except footsteps and hushed conversations though the door. It lasted for a few minuted before the door to the room was opened and Magnus peaked in smiling.

“You are still awake?”

Alec nodded and lifted his book to show that he was reading.

Magnus walked into the room and closed the door behind himself then and walked over to him.

“Mind if I slyther in little Hufflepuff?” Magnus asked and flashed him a playful grin.

Alec felt a little strange about it but shifted over to the side and let Magnus sit down next to him on the narrow bed- very aware of how naked he was compared to Magnus, even more so as Magnus didn’t sit on top of the duvet but got under it with him.

“Why did you leave so early?” Magnus asked, sitting very close to him.

Alec shrugged his shoulders “I dunno, I just didn’t feel like staying out for the sake of it”

“I wish you had stayed, I enjoy myself more when your around” Magnus spoke much softer now and Alec became very aware of just how close he was.

“You were busy talking with Simon so I don’t think you missed me that much” Alec tried.

“Still” Magnus pouted and Alec felt his heart speed up in his chest.

Alec swallowed and looked down at his book in his lap, not sure what was going on or why he was feeling like he was.

“Thanks for coming to the game though, it was nice to spend some time with you” Magnus spoke again and Alec looked back at him and nodded.

“Yeah, it was nice” Alec agreed.

“Maybe we could do something else sometime? Just you and me?” Magnus looked strangely vulnerable when he asked.

“You mean like hang out?” Alec almost stuttered it out.

“If that's what you want.. but I was thinking more like dinner and a few drinks”

Alec’s mouth felt a little dry as he looked at Magnus, his cheeks burning slightly, getting the feeling that Magnus wasn’t so much asking to hang out as friends but more that he was asking him out on a date.

“Magnus, I..” Alec chewed on his lip, not sure what he was going to say. There was something that told him that he shouldn’t, he was still very much with Lydia and also- did he even want this?

“I know I shouldn’t push, but I would really like to get to know you a little better.. and ever since we kissed I can’t stop thinking about you, so at least think about it?” Magnus hand found his and Alec almost stopped breathing there and then.

It was strange, and though it was the first time Magnus had brought up the fact that they had kissed it didn’t feel awkward, just strange. Alec wasn’t sure he would be able to say yes to this even if he wanted to, and he thought he might want it, but it REALLY didn’t fit into the plan he had worked out for how his life was supposed to be.

“Ok” Alec cleared his throat a little and looked back at Magnus “I’ll think about it” he added quickly, not wanting Magnus to think he said ok to the date in case he couldn’t.

“Ok” Magnus echoed and smiled.

Alec didn’t know what possessed him to, but he turned his hand over in Magnus’ and let their fingers entwine.

Magnus was still just looking at him, not saying anything and only showing that he noticed by giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Alec could hear his own pulse in his ears when Magnus leaned a little towards him - closing his eyes, Alec leaned towards him as well and met him half way. His body tingling as their lips met in a gentle kiss, Magnus lips feeling warm and soft against his and he tasted of sugary drinks and a hint of alcohol. It didn’t last long and it was over way too quickly for Alec’s liking but he didn’t dare to do anything to make it last and just opened his eyes to look at Magnus when he pulled back.

“Think about it, yeah?” Magnus smiled before letting go of his hand and getting out of Alec’s bed.

Alec nodded but didn’t say anything, didn’t trust his voice enough to do so. When Magnus turned to walk over to his side of the room, Alec licked his lip- trying to savour the taste of him or something, not completely sure what he was doing himself. Putting the book away, Alec got fully into bed and lay flat on his back looking up at the ceiling as Magnus moved about to get ready for bed, not daring to look at him in case he got caught doing so. When Magnus turned the lights off, Alec rolled over on his side and looked at the silhouette of Magnus in the bed across the room, wondering how he had got to this point.

 

——

 

The next two weeks, Magnus didn’t bring up the subject and instead just acted like he always had- except he wasn’t really if you started thinking about it. Almost every day when Magnus came home after work he would bring Alec a coffee and he rarely ever got Jace or Clary one, he always offered to do Alec’s part of the work around the flat so Alec could focus on his studying (which Alec wouldn’t let him do) and every time Magnus made food he always made some for him even though they all usually fixed their own and twice when Alec had stayed late at the library, Magnus had swung by and snuck in a Subway sandwich to him because ‘you have to eat something’. Magnus never hung around, never demanded attention for what he did and just let Alec go about studying- but Alec himself was starting to feel like he should probably make an effort to show that he was thankful.

Coming home later than usual on a Monday, Alec sat down in front of the computer in his room and was just about to turn it on when he noticed the cup next to the keyboard. Not recognising it, Alec picked it up and looked at it. The yellow cup had black print on it that read ‘I’m a Hufflepuff, hear me..’ in big bold letters and then ‘(what the F**k kind of sound does badgers make anyway?)’ under in smaller letters and with a print of a badger wearing a scarf on the other side of the cup. Chuckling to himself, Alec shook his head as he looked at the same print of the same badger on the inside of the cup when he saw a small note.

Fishing the little note out of the cup, Alec folded it out and couldn’t help but smile a little to himself as he read what it said.

’Thought it was cute, thought of you. M’

Putting the note back in the cup and the cup back down on the desk, Alec couldn’t stop smiling even as he turned on his laptop to start working.

 

——

 

Later that day Jace and Magnus went out to do some joined grocery shopping, leaving Alec and Clary behind in the flat. Alec stayed in his and Magnus’ room and concentrated on his work and Clary did the same across the hall. Not being able to concentrate, Alec got up and walked over to the door to Clary and Jace’s bedroom and knocked on the door- waiting for Clary to call out that he could come on.

“Please tell me you want company, I swear I will take ANY excuse to get a break from this” Clary said, sitting in bed and pointed at the laptop she had on her lap.

Alec smiled, happy that Clary was so willing to talk to him “Erm, yeah I just wanted to ask you about something, it might be easier to talk to you since your a girl and all”

“A girl and all? You do have a way with words don’t you?” Clary smiled and patted the bed next to herself. Jace and Clary had pushed their beds together, of course, and that gave Alec plenty of room as he got onto the bed and crossed his legs like a Buddha statue.

“So, what can I ,as a girl and all, help with? Are we talking juicy secrets?” Clary closed her laptop and pushed it off her lap. Alec might not have much in common with her and they might almost never talk- but no one could accuse Clary of being anything but kind and friendly.

Alec took a deep breath and nodded, more to reassure himself that he was doing the right thing in asking Clary for her opinion.

“No, its not a secret at all.. but, I’m thinking about breaking up with Lydia” Alec said and once he did, he felt instantly a lot better.

“Oh” Clary made a face “Has something happened? You always talked about how you were such a.. eh, solid pairing” Clary was using the exact words Alec had used for their relationship and it sounded very unappealing when he heard it said back to him.

“I cheated on her, and I feel really bad about it” Alec said, actually ashamed of that bit.

“You slept with someone? when?” Clary looked shocked.

“No, not that.. I kissed someone, twice” Alec said, not wanting Clary to think he had gone that far in his betrayal.

“Oh, OK.. its still bad though Alec, its a shitty thing to do” Clary at least was honest with him.

“I know, that's why I was thinking it would be best if we just broke up” Alec twirled his thumbs around in circles, needing to do something with his hands.

“Was it the same girl both times? I don’t think you should break up with Lydia without giving her the opportunity to decide for herself if she can live with that or not.. if you want this with her to work out that is”

Alec didn’t correct her in what the sex of the person was, not ready to let her in on that just yet.

“Yeah, same both times.. and I think maybe I like this person more than Lydia already and that can’t be good, right?” Alec heard the hint of desperation in his own voice.

Clary shook her head at that, making a face again.

“Ok, so.. should I tell Lydia what happened or just break it off?” Alec didn’t want to make the decision himself.

“No, don’t tell her.. no need to rub it in if you are gonna dump her anyway” Clary reached out and stroke her hand over Alec’s upper arm “It was a dick-ish thing to do, but you could have been a massive dick and just strung her along. Breaking it off if you don’t want to be with her anyway is the right thing, so you are just a mini-dick, which isn’t so bad”

“Eh.. thanks, I think” Alec said as it was his time to make a face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, but you know cheating is a shit thing to do” Clary was all smiled again after that “So this new girl then, when can we meet her?”

Gossip, of course Clary would be excited about that bit just as much as the first.

“I don’t even know if it's a thing I want to.. I dunno, do..” Alec started, babbling and tripping in his own words “So, I don’t think.. like, I don’t know- we’re not even dating, its just.. eh”. Alec wished Magnus was there, he always just plowed though the stumbling words and added that one word to the conversation that made it click into place in Alec’s brain and helped him back on track.

“I have no idea what you just tried to say” Clary chuckled “But even if you are not dating, you could invite her once when we go out.. or you know, give me her name so I can stalk her on Facebook?”

Alec frowned at that and let out a huff.

“What? that's what normal people do” Clary laughed “OK, I won’t.. but you are welcome to send me a picture any time”

“OK, well I don’t feel comfortable with that so” Alec said and got up and off the bed “I’m just gonna go get back to work, thanks for letting me unload on you”.

“That sounds so wrong, but you are welcome” Clary laughed.

Alec shook his head “Oh my god, you and Jace are just the same”.

“I HEARD MY NAME” Jace’s voice came from the hall and Alec rolled his eyes at the timing of it.

“It was nothing” Alec called back as he headed out of Jace & Clary’s bedroom.

“What’s nothing” Jace smiled, surrounded by plastic Tesco bags as he closed the door behind Magnus who carried even more bags.

“ALEC JUST THANKED ME FOR LETTING HIM UNLOAD ON ME” Clary called out.

“Dude! That sounds so wrong” Jace laughed.

Letting out a sigh, Alec reached up and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“What did you unload on my girlfriend by the way? If it was something salty I don’t want to know” Jace stepped out of the ring of bags surrounding him.

“Thats messed up Jace, you make it sound like I jacked off over your girlfriend” Alec shook his head.

“Excuse me?” Magnus’ head popped out from the kitchen “You did what?”

“I didn’t do anything, I just talked with Clary about something” Alec wasn’t sure he had the energy to do this right now, or ever.

“About?” Jace looked more than a little interested.

“He is breaking up with Lydia!” Clary called out just as she came to join then, leaning against the door frame.

“Clary!” Alec looked at her with wide eyes.

“You said it wasn’t a secret, I asked specifically if it was” Clary smiled.

“You are?”

Turning around, Alec looked at Magnus who was smiling a lot more than what was appropriate to do after hearing news like he just had. He knew it was unreasonable to worry about Jace or Clary noticing that he did, but Alec quickly looked away anyway.

“I think he likes someone else” Clary added.

“What? Damn PLAY-AH!” Jace laughed and Alec could feel his cheeks burning, trying to stay calm while seeing Magnus in the corner of his eye still smiling.

“I can’t do _this_..” Alec said and pointed in their general direction “Just, no” he added and turned around and headed into his and Magnus’ room and closed the door behind himself. It wouldn’t have been a problem, they had always joked around like this - but Magnus had been right there, and of course he had been and of course Clary wouldn’t know not to say it in front of him, but it still made everything a little awkward.

Sitting down by his desk, Alec put in headphones and turned on music, deciding to just ignore everyone until he had to go to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>    
>  [Drawing by me!](https://twitter.com/BBMonarch)   
> 


	3. Research

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
>   
> 
>  [LINK TO THE SONG (Maroon 5 - Misery)](https://youtu.be/6g6g2mvItp4)  
> 
> 
> * * *

Alec put some weight into it as he pushed the door to the flat open, frowning as he heard singing from inside the flat. Closing the door behind himself, Alec pulled off his jacket and smiled as he heard the singing go on- clearly being able to tell that it was Magnus who was doing the singing. Alec turned and looked into the kitchen / living room and saw Magnus standing with his back against him with his hands in the sink, doing the dishes.

“Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem  
You'd rather cover up  
I'd rather let them bleed  
So let me be  
And I'll set you free”

Leaning against the doorframe, Alec watched as Magnus danced on the spot and did the dishes in time with the beat of the song he was singing.

“I am in misery  
There ain't nobody who can comfort me  
Why won't you answer me?  
The silence is slowly killing me”

Smiling to himself, Alec folded his arms, a little surprised by how he was able to carry a tune when he was listening to whatever song though a headset, that usually made people sing a little off key.

“Girl, you really got me bad  
You really got me bad  
I'm gonna get you back  
I'm gonna get you back”

Alec knew he should let him know that he was there, but he couldn’t help but just look at him as he moved- the way he swayed his hips and how the thin almost see-through fabric of his t-shirt that hung over his shoulders moved over his back.

“Your salty skin and how  
It mixes in with mine  
The way it feels to be  
Completely intertwined”

His breath got a little heavier and Alec licked his lips and swallowed slowly, unable to identify what the feeling he was feeling was.

“Not that I didn't care  
It's that I didn't know  
It's not what I didn't feel  
It’s what I didn’t…

Oh.. fuck”

Magnus laughed and Alec snapped out of it and saw that Magnus had turned and removed one of the earbuds and was now looking at him.

“How long have you been standing there?” Magnus laughed, acting far less embarrassed about it than what Alec himself would have done if the tables were turned.

“Erm.. About half a song I would think” Alec smiled and pushed away from the doorframe.

“That long? Oh, how rude of you to let me go on making a fool out of myself for long” Magnus said and pulled out the other earbud too and instead let the cord hang around the back of his neck.

“No, It was good” Alec replied, almost a little too quickly “I didn’t know you could sing”

“I hardly think that could be considered singing” Magnus replied with a crocked smile.

Alec huffed “You are just being modest”

“I know.. how unlike me! I am not sure I like this new trait” Magnus gave a wink as he dried his hands.

Alec shook his head as walked into the room “It’s all good either way” Alec replied as he walked over to the fridge and pulled it open, looking in ‘his’ shelf to see if he had anything to eat.

“Yeah? Are you saying you like me no matter how modest or more likely, not modest I am?”

Alec looked at him over his shoulder, wanting to say yes but instead just smiled. Looking back into the fridge, Alec saw nothing but vegetables and some yoghurt, which was not what he wanted. Closing the door with a sigh, he turned to look at Magnus who had stopped and was now just watching him.

“Not hungry?” Magnus smiled.

“I need to run to the shop, do you need anything?” Alec figured he should offer.

“I’m all good. If you don’t have anything you can have some of mine” Magnus offered. He always offered, offered to do his part of the cleaning in the flat, run to the store if he needed anything, to make him food and just about anything that would be ‘work’ for Alec.

“No, but thank you.. I should really fill up anyway” Alec said and bit the inside of his lip as Magnus nodded, never pushing or trying to convince him of anything - he just always offered.

“You know that thing” Alec went on, his hands a little clammy.

“The thing? but you have to be a little bit more specific” Magnus still smiled, looking friendly as always.

“The thing that you asked me, almost three weeks ago..” Alec was dancing around the subject while still trying to make it clear.

Magnus’ face lit up a little as he nodded “Oh yeah, THAT thing, yes I do remember THAT thing VERY clearly”.

Alec nodded, hating the idea of making a fool of himself so wanting to make sure he was right about what it had been.

“Did you mean for it to sound like you were.. eh, asking me to go on a.. you know” Alec fumbled with his words again and hating himself for it.

“Date?” Magnus asked, like always finding the exact word Alec was struggling to say.

“Yes” Alec nodded again “Did you mean for it to sound like that?”

Magnus’ eyebrows rose like he was surprised “Yes, I was very much meaning for it to sound exactly like that” Magnus had lifted his hand and was now absent-mindedly rubbing the side of his neck and Alec was struggling to not let his eyes wander “You weren’t sure thats what I meant?”

“Not 100%” Alec admitted and looked down at his feet for a few seconds before forcing himself to look up at him again “Well, if it was.. I kinda want to I guess, but..”

“But?” Magnus’ expression quickly changed to something a little more sombre.

“Eh, I don’t know how comfortable I am with this..” Alec stopped and bit his tongue, not wanting this to come out wrong “no, not like that.. but I don’t know what I feel about people and..” Alec let out a sigh “..and I don’t know how to explain this without it coming out really wrong, I’m sorry”

Magnus looked at him and his hand moved from his neck and up to his chin, scratching while his other arm was still across his chest.

“You don’t feel comfortable going out on a date in public because you don’t know if you are ready for anyone to know that you might be attracted to men?” Magnus asked and Alec found himself nodding, not understanding how Magnus could just say what he meant when he himself couldn’t find the words.

“OK” Magnus nodded.

“OK?” Alec echoed.

“Yeah, I will specify it a little so it will be easier for you to say yes then. So, do you want to go on a date with me? Dinner and drinks? And when I say dinner I mean we go some place like Subway or McDonalds where no one would take a date, and when I say drinks I mean beer in a sports bar while we watch a game.. and if you want to kiss me good-night at the end of the date, it can wait until we are in the safety of our room” Magnus expression was soft and welcoming “And I promise to not wear a dress”.

Alec chuckled at the last bit and shook his head “You are really something” he smiled, but he didn’t know if he felt good about this either “I don’t know how fair that would be on you though”.

Magnus took a step closer and was now well inside what Alec would usually consider his personal space.

“I don’t care if everyone else think we are just two friends hanging out, as long as you and I know it's a date.. and if I am honest, this European football thing is growing on me, so I wouldn’t mind watching a game with you” Magnus reached out and placed a hand against his chest and Alec was wondering if he could feel how fast his heart was beating.

“OK” Alec felt strangely happy about agreeing to go on the date.

“OK?” Magnus echoed now.

“Yeah, so.. when?” Alec was very aware of Magnus hand on his chest.

“Hm, what was the name of that team that Jace supported again?” Magnus reached for his phone and Alec was then very aware of how much he missed his hand against his chest.

“Chelsea, why?” Alec frowned.

“OK, soooo…” Magnus looked down at his phone, looking up something “this Saturday, Chelsea play at 5:30 and Liverpool play aaaat.. 8! Perfect, so Jace will go out to watch that game and will most likely bring Clary which mean we are safe to go out without any of them asking to tag along, they will go to one of the bars close so we can go out about 7 and have a quick bite while their game is on and catch the Liverpool game at some place like The Flute where they won’t go..in other words, this Saturday and seven?”

Alec chuckled “That's some plan”

“I’m not just a pretty face” Magnus flashed him a wide grin.

“Where did that modesty from before disappear to?” Alec mirrored his smile.

“Oh, that was before I got a date with the most gorgeous men in the city- I’m full of myself again now” Magnus wiggled his shoulders a little and smiled.

“Oh” Alec let his facial expression change to something almost sad “You are going out with someone else too?”

“No” Magnus looked worried as he shook his head “No, I meant..” he started but stopped when Alec couldn’t help but smile and Magnus then slapped his shoulder hard.

“Ouch, violent much?” Alec joked, rubbing his shoulder as if it had actually hurt.

“A little bit, clearly..” Magnus pouted “but.. are we OK for Saturday at 7 then?”

“Yeah, Saturday at seven” Alec repeated before taking a step back “But, I still gotta run to the shop so..you good?”

“I am perfect” Magnus said winked.

“Ah geeze, I mean are you sure you don’t need anything from the shop?” Alec rolled his eyes, but he didn’t mind at all really.

“Nah, I’m good, thank you though” Magnus replied and put his earplugs back into his ears just before Alec turned around to head out, having the biggest smile on his face as he did.

  
———

  
It was Friday, Jace and Clary was out drinking with Simon and Raphael and Magnus had had to take a later shift at Mono so Alec had ended up being alone and that gave him time to thing, which resulted in him becoming nervous about Saturady. Sitting in bed, Alec had tried to distract himself from his own thoughts by watching YouTube videos of light-hearted things like cats doing stupid things and those ‘try not to’ challenges.

Having not let himself think about his own sexuality meant that he had no idea what it actually meant. Of course he knew how it all worked, the basics, he wasn’t born yesterday but he actually didn’t actually KNOW. Alec knew he might be worrying prematurely and that maybe Magnus wouldn’t even try to take it any further, especially not after their very first date, but what if he did?

Opening a new window, Alec opened google and looked at the empty search field.

What would he search for? Alec chewed on his lower lip as he tried to wrap his head around the subject, struggling to even agree with himself on who would go where. Was it just something they knew when it happened or did they talk about it, agree on who went on top or did you switch? Alec drummed his fingertips lightly enough against the keys for him to not actually press any of them, trying to picture himself in both positions to try to imagine what he would like. What if they both wanted the same and they couldn’t agree?

“You are think too much about this” Alec mumbled to himself.

OK, if he topped he knew basically how he would go about, but..

‘ _Does anal hurt?_ ’ Alec typed in and let his finger hover over the enter button for a few seconds before he hit it.

_Anal sex has pretty significant STI risks, so this is really something to make sure you're clear on._

'That's not what I was looking for’ Alec thought to himself as he looked at the first paragraph of the article google had recommended and left open at the top of the search page. Making a face, Alec looked further down the page and looked at all of the ‘headlines’ of his search result.

_'10 Biggest Anal Intercourse Misconceptions - Myths About Anal Sex'_

Opening the link, Alec frowned at the picture of a peach that popped up on the screen and the fact that it was Cosmopolitan article. The first of the ten myths was that it would hurt, which was comforting but it was also an article directed at women who thought about trying it and not him or others like him. Clicking back, Alec decided to find one that was meant for men, not that he thought that it would be very different but there had to be some difference. Adding the word ‘gay’ at the end of his search, Alec pressed enter again.

The first thing that came up was a Yahoo! Answer and Alec skipped that and went straight to a site that seemed to be for gay men, based on the name of it. Clicking it open, Alec saw that it was a message board- but the guy that had asked the question has basically asked exactly what Alec had wondered so he decided to read the answers anyway.

The first answer started off by saying it could be awkward, painful and uncomfortable and Alec shifted a little on the spot, not too excited about what he was reading. The guy went on saying that you would probably love it if you were well prepared and neither of those taking part rushed it- at the end he had added that if you didn’t like it after a few tries that was OK too, which again was something Alec hadn’t thought about. ‘What if I never like it’ Alec thought to himself and chewed on his lower lip again, keeping on scrolling though the answers.

_'Start with small toys and lube and work your way up until you can handle your partner’s size.'_

Alec rubbed his face with both hands and let out a sigh. It was a little bit late to start working his way up the night before their date and it wasn’t like he had toys and lube lying around just in case he had decided to get used to having a dick in his ass - and even if he did, what was Magnus’ size?

Feeling a little depressed about what he found, Alec clicked back and decided to look up something else instead.

‘ _first time trying anal sex gay_ ’ Alec typed and clicked enter right away, then clicked the first thing that came up, deciding to just power though this research.

Reading though the article that was written because some guy in London had lost his virginity as some kind of performance art performance was a little disturbing. It went though five tips for first timers and though it started with saying that almost all gay men went though being both top and bottom, which at least answered parts of something Alec was wondering about, he found it bordering to silly that they kept referring to virginity as the V-card.

The first tip was about finding the right guy, which wasn’t interesting. The second was to find a place but Alec couldn’t for the life of him understand why that would be important. Why would he care if it happened in a luxurious hotel or his own bed? The third was where he started feeling a bit unwell again as they went on about being clean and washed to avoid accidents, which he hadn’t even thought about being a possibility before he read it. Alec was always clean, every inch of him was clean at almost any time of the day, but they mentioned conducting an enema 30 minutes before having sex which freaked him out. Alec didn’t even want to think about it, how you would get that to be a natural part of it? would you excuse yourself and casually wander into the bathroom and do it just in case something happened within the next 30 minutes? Taking a deep breath, Alec scrolled down to the forth which was about condoms and lube, but he figured that if Magnus had done this before he would know to have those things so he skipped to the fifth which was just advice on relaxing.

 _'Unpleasant for 60 seconds but then it gets better'_ the article said, and Alec was pretty sure he could get though 60 seconds if he could just get that far.

Scrolling back up to the top, Alec looked at the picture of a good looking man with his knees pushed up almost to his shoulders with a second man laying between his legs while kissing the first man’s neck. It looked nice Alec had to admit and the look on the man who was clearly bottoming was one of peace and pleasure- which was comforting. Alec looked at the picture for longer than he had planned and found himself breathing a little heavier as goosebumps spread out from his chest to his shoulders and down his arms. Crossing his ankles under the covers, Alec pressed back in the browser window again and was back on his last search.

‘ _gay sex_ ’ Alec typed in and held his breath for some reason as he pressed enter.

The page looked the same of course, but Alec knew what was behind the blue links and for some reason it was almost scary. Leaning back more firmly against the wall, Alec crossed his arms over his chest while keeping his eyes locked on the links.

Xvideos, pornhub, redtube. Alec wasn’t stupid, he knew it would not be any kind of information on these sites, but he hadn’t actually ever watched any. He had tried to watch straight porn of course and found it mildly interesting, but nothing else. One of the links read ‘Romantic Gay Sex’ and Alec reasoned with himself that if he looked that up, it was somehow more acceptable and therefore decided to click on it.

The second he clicked on it a video started with a close up of a cock pushing into a man’s ass, a man’s kind-of-hair ass Alec thought. The second thought was that it didn’t seem all that romantic to close-up film it like that- but before he could even consider clicking back the angle changed to a man laying on a Ottoman with his legs up in the air while another man was standing between his legs, leaning down over him while trusting rather slowly into the one bottoming.

Feeling the lower part of his body tingle, Alec let the video play as he tried to take in what was going on. The guy bottoming was the one making sounds and it sounded very much like he was enjoying it. Every now and then the angle would change back to the close up, but Alec found that he didn’t mind it but found them in full figure more arousing. It was almost a little surprising how gentle they seemed to be and how they touched and kissed though it all, even if it had been titled ‘romantic’ Alec had sort of figured it be something a little more rough. Licking his lips, Alec could feel his own body reacting to it in a way that he couldn’t ever remember having reacted before. He had been turned on before, but he had never really allowed himself to think of why, or if there had been a reason at all- but now he looked straight at it and knew it was the reason.

The video only lasted for about three minutes and it didn’t end in a climax and somehow Alec felt like he hadn’t got what he came for, even if it hadn’t been what he had specifically been looking for. Looking down at his lap, Alec could feel his own member twitch slightly as it grew in his boxer briefs under the covers. Alec moved the mouse over to and clicked a video that was 18 minutes long and was called something about ‘heaven’.

When it started, Alec could see it was the same men from the first video but this time it started out with them partly dressed and kissing. Moving a little down, Alec let his shoulder blades rest against the wall as he watched the film play out. It was nicer to see it start off like this, with them kissing and undressing. The laptop on the covers were resting on his upper thighs and Alec pushed one hand under the covers and rested it over the bulge in his boxers while his eyes were fixed on the screen where they had now reached one of the guys going down on the other.

Surprising himself, Alec wasn’t uncomfortable when the guy changed from sucking the guy to licking him between the ass cheeks, both of them seeming to enjoy it which made Alec want it, even if he didn’t see how it could actually be something all that special. When there was a time-skip in the film and it moved to the men on the bed with one about to push into the other, Alec moved his hand under his boxers and wrapped his hand around his heavily leaking cock and started stroking it, biting his lip hard to stay silent while he watched and listened to the two men. At one point in the video, the men changed position and the one who had topped, bottomed and the other way around and Alec let out a soft grunt in pleasure at the idea of it as he kept stroking himself, moving his hand faster.

Alec’s climax was building and he could tell he was close when the door to the room was opened and light from the hall flooded the room. Slapping the computer shut with his free hand, Alec quickly pulled his hand up and looked up at the door where Magnus stood.

“Discrete” Alec heard Magnus say, but with the backlight from the hall he couldn’t actually see his face.

“What?” Alec replied before he could even think, his face was burning hot and he was sure he looked the part as well. Alec felt an almost painful amount of shame burn though him as he tried his best to look at Magnus and not look away nervously.

“Nothing” Magnus replied as he closed the door, luckily not turning on the lights as Alec thought he might actually die if Magnus saw how red his face must be now.

Pulling the earplugs out, Alec grabbed the closed laptop and placed it on the chair next to his bed, deciding that he would hide under the covers and possibly never come out from under there ever again.

Alec could see Magnus’ silhouette against the little amount of light that came in though the windows from the street outside, but Magnus wasn’t moving.

“Want a helping hand?”

Alec almost choked on the air in his lungs as he heard the question and his eyes shot up wide as he looked at the dark figure that was Magnus.

“Wh-wha” Alec started and cleared his throat “what?”

Magnus was moving towards him and when he came close enough for Alec to see his face, he still couldn’t exactly make out what his expression was. It wasn’t a smile but it also was nothing negative, not a frown or anything Alec would consider mean or mocking.

“I asked if you wanted a helping hand?” Magnus spoke quietly and his tone was soft as he pushed one knee against the edge of his mattress and leaned down. Alec shifted over to give him room but wasn’t sure how to react apart from that or even fully aware of what he was supposed to react to until Magnus basically sat next to him and leaned in, pressing his lips against his. Closing his eyes, Alec leaned into the kiss and let Magnus deepen it, feeling Magnus moist lips play with his as he parted them for Magnus’ tongue- feeling kind of lost because of how he always reacted to Magnus and how he reacted to him when he kissed him.

Feeling the goosebumps return to his chest and shoulders, Alec realised just how much he enjoyed kissing Magnus or being kissed by him, finding comfort in how Magnus guided the kiss as his tongue explored the inside of his mouth, playing with Alec’s. Alec jumped a little as he felt Magnus’ hand against his lower stomach just where the covers started, but Magnus didn’t pull back or react at all to Alec’s reaction and instead pushed his hand down under the covers and further down inside his boxers. Creating fists with both his hands, Alec tried to relax as Magnus’ hand found his cock, but he was unable to hold back the desperate moan as his hand wrapped around his length.

Alec couldn’t believe what he was feeling, not having imagined that someone else’s hand could feel so different from his own and when Magnus started moving his hand, Alec let out a needy groan and bucked his hips up into his hand. Magnus sucked at his lower lip hard and it felt numb and swollen when it slipped out from between Magnus’ but Alec couldn’t think about anything apart from the sensation of Magnus’ hand as he stroke him. The pressure he had felt grow earlier was returning quicker than he liked, but he couldn’t do anything about it so instead reached up with one hand and grabbed a hold of the back of Magnus’ head, his short nails scratching the scalp bellow the short hair as he the warmth in his loins returned. Clenching his eyes shut, Alec whimpered in embarrassment as he couldn’t hold back before his entire body trembled and his hips jerked and the most amazing orgasm he had ever had exploded deep inside of him and spread like wildfire all the way out to his fingertips and toes. It only lasted a few seconds, but even after, Alec stayed still and just gasped against Magnus lips and visibly shivered.

“That was so hot” Magnus whispered against his lips and Alec pulled a little back, a little shocked over what had just happened.

“I.. I’m sorry” Alec had no idea what he could say, not sure a ‘thank you’ was the right thing and he was mortified with how quick he had just come.

Magnus pulled his hand up and while his eyes were locked with Alec’s, lifted his hand and licked up the side of his palm from where his thumb started and up over his finger. There was something incredibly sexy about it that Alec wasn’t sure if he understood why, but nonetheless really enjoyed the sight of him.

“For what?” Magnus smiled as he leaned in and kissed him softly.

Returning the kiss, Alec frowned a little at the bitter salty taste of his lips and didn’t realise what it was until Magnus pulled back again. The taste of himself stayed in his mouth and Alec wasn’t sure what he thought of it, but not really minding the taste all that much.

“Tomorrow at seven, yeah?” Magnus pushed back off his bed and Alec simply nodded, not trusting his words now.

“Good night little Hufflepuff” Magnus said but now he was too far away for Alec to see his face in the dark room.

“Night” Was the only thing Alec managed to get out but it was enough for Magnus who turned and walked over to his side of the room before he started to undress. Shifting to lay down, Alec pulled the covers up to right under his chin as he watched the silhouette of Magnus as he got naked and got into bed. It had been sort of weird, but it had also been amazing and he blinked slowly as started to mentally try to change the image of the two men from the video from earlier into Magnus and himself, drifting off to sleep before he fully succeeded.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
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>  [Drawing by me! Follow me on Twitter (link)](https://twitter.com/BBMonarch)
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	4. Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>    
>  [Follow me on Twitter (link)](https://twitter.com/BBMonarch)   
> 

Alec had been a little relieved when he had woken up the next day and Magnus hadn’t been there, having no clue how he would actually face him so soon after what happened the night before. Alec had decided to go for a quick run since Jace and Clary weren’t up yet (even though it was long past midday) and when he came back they were both watching TV and still were when he returned after having taken a shower.

“You watching the game today?” Alec asked as he made his sausage sandwich, adding cheese to it even if Jace had told him that was not how you made one, Jace having the strangest ‘rules’ on what was accepted on what he described as ‘english food’ - Alec not seeing how toast with sausage on it could be so special a country should feel the need to claim it.

“Yeah, I think so, you wanna come?” Jace replied sitting in the tired couch with Clary’s legs resting in his lap.

“Nah, wrong team” Alec replied, regretting that he had asked now that Jace wanted him to come, having just wanted to check that Jace and Clary would actually be out.

“Wrong team? Oh fuck off, you don’t owe Liverpool FC anything just cos you live here. Come today and you can watch some proper football played by a team who actually have won something” Jace almost spat and Alec was reminded how seriously he actually took the sport.

Sitting down in one of the chairs around the small table (that he was sure was actually a deck table), Alec took a bite of his sandwich “Actually..” Alec started while his mouth was still full. “I have read that Liverpool is the most winning team in England” he added after having swallowed.

“Yeah, but I mean a team that has won anything the last freaking 100 years” Jace huffed and went back to rubbing Clary’s feet like he had done when Alec walked in, Clary not even paying attention as she had got her laptop up and now seemed to ignore them both.

Alec just shrugged his shoulders “I’m not a glory hunter” he gave a wide grin, knowing exactly what to say to piss him off “What do the Scousers call you Chelsea supporters? Rent boys? Isn’t it?”

Jace’s narrowed his eyes and looked at him like he would seriously hurt him “Why don’t you go for a run on the M62 with scissors?! and I take it back, I don’t want you to come anymore you can do one, mate”

Alec chuckled and had another bite of his sandwich, chewing slowly “Do you know where Magnus is by the way?”

“I thought he was sleeping” Jace huffed, but not one to stay annoyed for long quickly added a smile.

“Nope, I met him when I was up this morning.. he got called into work” Clary mumbled without taking her eyes off the screen.

“Work? the morning shift?” Alec directed his question at Clary.

Clary looked up at him, her expression giving Alec the feeling he had just asked the most stupid question “There is no morning shift, it's a bar Alec. He started at 1 2I think”

“12? So when is he back then?” Alec asked between bites.

“9 usually, maybe 10 or 11 if they don’t have enough people.. it’s a Saturday after all” Clary said and looked down at her screen “Did you guys have plans or something”.

“No” Alec answered quickly, too quickly and then tried to cover it up with a smile “no, not really.. we were just gonna watch the Liverpool game later or whatever” Alec said and looked down at his empty plate, feeling strangely disappointed about their date probably having to be rescheduled and he realised he must have looked forward to it more than he thought he had.

When Alec looked up, Jace was looking at him with a questioning frown on his face.

“Damn Alec, it’s just a game.. I’ll go with you and watch that wanker team of yours if its that important to you” Jace had tipped his head to the side the way dogs do when they don’t understand things.

Alec shook his head, trying to force himself to not look as disappointed as he felt “No, don’t worry about it, I have stuff to do anyway”.

“You sure? You look like you just heard Alan Rickman died” Jace said and then let out a surprised whimper when Clary punched his shoulder hard.

“Don’t remind me of that, that is so cruel” Clary pouted.

“I know Jace, I am so disappointed in you” Alec nodded, trying shift the attention to Jace and away from himself.

“What? You just looked really down” Jace mumbled.

“So you bring up Rickman? Not cool Jace, not cool..” Alec said and got up to rinse his plate.

“I will break up with you if you don’t apologise RIGHT now” Clary still pouted.

“Damn you fucking crazy Americans, fine.. I am sorry, I am so sorry that I brought up the loss of our great leader and saviour, Alan Rickman” Jace said while making a face and then whimpered again as Clary punched his shoulder again.

“No, apologise properly” Clary had closed her laptop and Alec was smiling at her over his shoulder as he washed the pan he had used to make his lunch.

“Seriously? You are actually completely bonkers woman” Jace stated, but Clary folded her arms over her chest and gave him a mean look “OK, OK I am sorry I brought up Alan Rickman’s death, please don’t break up with me”

Clary’s expression slowly changed to a happier one and she reached down and opened her laptop again “Thank you, now was that so hard?”

“No, just unnecessary” Jace mumbled.

“What?” Clary gave him a look of warning.

“Nothing, nothing I said nothing what so ever” Jace said and gave her a wide grin and chuckled.

Alec shook his head, admitting to himself that he envied Jace and Clary for what they had - being both a couple and best friends, his relationship with Lydia could hardly count as a friendship and it was easy to see how Jace had never understood why he dated her when Jace had what he had with Clary to compare it to.

“I’m gonna work on some stuff for uni, so.. enjoy the game later, maybe I’ll see you after” Alec smiled and grabbed a bottle of water he had put in the fridge the day before and headed back into his room.

  
———

  
It had been awkward opening his laptop as what opened was the site from the day before and he had quickly X’ed it all out and started working instead to quickly push those thoughts out of his mind. Clary and Jace had left for the game and Alec had decided to bury himself in uni work and hadn’t checked the time since his planes would be cancelled anyway. It was already getting dark outside when he heard something though the music and pulled out one of the air buds to see if he could identify where the sound came from. When it was silent he was about to put the air bud back in again when there was a knock on the door.

Alec got up, wondering if he had started to hear things as no one ever knocked on the door to their place - they would always ring the doorbell downstairs. Opening the bedroom door Alec looked straight at Magnus who stood there smiling, which did nothing to make Alec less confused about what was going on. Looking over Magnus’ shoulder, Alec looked at the door to the flat and then back at Magnus.

“Did you just knock or is someone at the door?” Alec frowned.

“No, I knocked” Magnus had the most gorgeous smile on his face as he spoke.

“Why? What are you doing here.. I thought you had work” Alec said, feeling weird about Magnus just standing in the hall like that.

“Did you forget?” Magnus was still smiling but he looked maybe a little worried too.

“No, but I just thought that..” Alec pulled up his phone and saw that it was two past seven “Oh, I thought you were gonna cancel since you had work”.

“What?” Magnus shook his head “I would have said no to work if it had crashed with this and secondly, you thought I cancelled without even telling you?”

“No, I guess not..” Alec looked down at his phone, feeling silly for even having thought that, because he had.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, I am here to pick you up for our date which is happening” Magnus smiled again.

Alec looked down at himself and then up at Magnus who was sharply dressed as always, wearing a thin shirt that hung perfectly over his shoulders and hugged him in just the right places to show off his body, dark fitted jeans and smart shoes, which was probably the only type he owned. His hair was perfectly styled with small streaks of green in it and he had just a little bit of eyeliner - less than he usually wore.

“I look like a mess, I thought it would be cancelled” Alec mumbled.

“You couldn’t look like a mess if you tried” Magnus beamed and held out his hand.

“I can change” Alec said and was just about to turn around when Magnus grabbed a hold of his arm and stopped him in his track.

“You can change if you feel uncomfortable, but don’t change for me.. I think you look just perfect the way you are and as I said, we are going to Subway and I don’t think they have a dress code” Magnus looked at him in a way that made Alec feel like he was being undressed.

“OK, yeah I guess if you are OK with it” Alec mumbled and nodded.

“Of course, I don’t want you to feel like you have to change for me” Magnus let his hand slide down Alec’s arm until he reached his hand.

“I wasn’t planning on changing, just, maybe since its like a..” Alec didn’t know why the word was so hard to say.

“Date” Magnus finished it for him and smiled as he gave his hand a gentle squeeze “well, its subway.. you could be wearing a black bin bag and you would still look to good for that place”.

Alec gently returned the squeeze of his hand before pulling his hand back to go get his shoes on, trying to hide his blush as he did.

  
———

  
They hadn’t walked long, there was a Subway just across the street and it made it even easier for Alec to swallow because they had been there a million times before together so to an outsider it would be nothing new. The only thing that was different was that when Alec had tried to pay, Magnus had slapped his hand away and given him a warning look before he paid for it all. Sitting down by one of the tables against the wall, Magnus smiled again.

“I am OK with taking you on a date here, but I asked you out so I get to pay” Magnus spoke so quietly that Alec relaxed even though he used the ‘d-word’ while they were in public.

“I’m sorry, I’m used to that being my job” Alec gave an apologetic smile.

“Your job?” Magnus took a bite of his Spicy Italian sandwich.

“Mmhm, as the guy” Alec replied and unpacked his own Subway melt sandwich.

“Bullshit” Magnus smiled “If a girl asked me out and then didn’t even offer to pay” Magnus said and gave an expression like he was showing off attitude “no thank you”.

Alec nodded, he sometimes forgot that Magnus didn’t just like guys and that he of course had experience with women too, probably more than he himself had.

“So, Alexander.. tell me about you” Magnus looked so relaxed and comfortable and Alec envied him for it.

“You know me already” Alec replied and shrugged his shoulders “I’m kind of boring” he went on, eating slowly.

“Boring? You are anything but.. but OK, tell me about your plan then?” Magnus smiled.

“My plan?” Alec frowned.

“Yes, you keep saying that things aren’t going according to plan and Jace made it seem like you have a life plan mapped out in detail” Magnus said.

“Oh, yeah” Alec almost blushed as he shuffled his feet behind the front legs of his chair “It’s stupid, you don’t wanna hear about that”.

“I very much wanna hear your plan” Magnus pushed a little.

“Eh, OK” Alec chewed on his lower lip and looked down “I’ll finish my bachelor now, then start my master so I’ll be done by I’m I’m 26. If I finish by then, then I can get married before I’m 27 which is acceptable and mean that I could have two children around the time I turn 30 which again means that by the time I am 35 I will have enough money to buy a house in an area where its acceptable to raise kids that age.. ehh, yeah..” Alec didn’t actually want to go into detail as he had already mapped out acceptable areas he could live in based on how safe they were and how good the schools in the area were.

“Wow” Magnus said and took a bite of his sandwich, almost finished with it “That is some plan” Magnus said after swallowing.

“I know it’s stupid, but Lydia is OK with it” Alec said, almost feeling like he had to defend it.

“Is?” Magnus asked and when Alec saw how he looked at him he instantly felt bad.

“Was” Alec corrected and saw how Magnus’ expression changed to something calmer again, Alec feeling worse for it though as he hadn’t actually gotten around to breaking it off with her yet.

Looking down at the last bit of his sandwich, Alec fiddled with the paper and bit his lip.

“But you were planing on getting married at 27” Magnus started “and you had planned on waiting with sex until then? Thats.. I want to say admirable, but I will go with crazy” Magnus said as he sucked at the straw in his drink while looking at him when Alec looked up.

“I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it” Alec mumbled “you know that”.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that I just think its kind of sad that you easily could have gone your entire life not knowing who you were” Magnus reached out but stopped and pulled his hand back, and Alec wished he hadn’t - even if they were in public, he liked it when Magnus touched him.

“I would have been OK” Alec said and finished off his sandwich.

“Maybe” Magnus leaned back in his chair.

“So, do you have any plans?” Alec asked, wanting the attention off him.

“Hm, I really want to see a lion” Magnus said and smiled and when he did, Alec relaxed a little.

“See a lion? That is your life plan?” Alec chuckled.

“Well, I want to see it where it lives which means I have to go to Africa which again is not something you do every day so.. its something that needs to be planned” Magnus smiled.

“Nothing more specific than that you’d like to see a lion in Africa one day?”

“Well, sometime during next week I’m gonna wash the bathroom in our flat, thats a plan.. and it’s rather specific” Magnus chuckled.

“I would freak out if I didn’t have a plan” Alec said and shook his head.

“Do you still have a plan? A new one?” Magnus lifted his eyebrows in question.

“It’s the same one, it still applies I just have to make some minor changes to it” Alec cleared his thought, refusing to give up on his plan just because something had changed that he hadn’t expected.

“Oh? Does that mean if this goes well that we will be getting married in five years?”

It looked like Magnus was trying not to laugh and Alec both wanted to smile and run away and hide, for a second having forgot that they were actually on a date.

“Just forget it, it’s a stupid plan anyway” Alec mumbled quietly, feeling the tips of his ears burning.

“If you say so” Magnus winked at him and smiled “Come on, lets go get a drink in a place with more comfortable chairs, I can’t feel my ass anymore” Magnus said, saving Alec from having to dig a hole and bury himself in.

  
———

  
They had gone to an Irish bar not too far away from their flat. Alec had never been to ‘Pogue’ which according to all the writing on the wall saying how famous it supposedly was had probably been an insult if he had said it out loud. They hadn’t even watched the game, they had just talked and it had been comfortable and easy and they could even sit next to each other because of how many people were in there - sitting further apart would probably have been more suspicious than sitting close.

At one point, someone Alec had a few classes with had come over and said hi and Alec had been a little nervous about it, but the girl, who Alec couldn’t remember the name of, didn’t even raise an eyebrow at seeing them together and had just nodded and smiled when Alec had introduced Magnus as a ‘flat mate’. The time had flown by, and when Alec looked at his phone after getting a message from Jace about how he and Clary was going out it was already past midnight.

“Did Jace ask you to join them too?” Magnus asked and looked from Alec and down to the phone he was holding.

“Mmhm” Alec nodded.

“Do you want to go?” Magnus asked and he was so close Alec could almost feel his breath when he spoke.

“No, but I kind of want to get out of here” Alec said and stood up, Magnus followed right behind. Out on the street, Alec zipped up his jacket “If you want to go, you can because I’m a little tired anyway”

Magnus huffed and shook his head “I am not leaving YOU to hang out with Clace”

“Clace? oh, that was your couple name on them, right? I forgot” Alec smiled as they started walking down the street “it still sounds silly by the way.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right” Magnus said, the wind being strong enough to blow even his hair out of shape as they walked “What about Malec?”

Alec chuckled “That doesn’t sound like them at all”.

“It’s not them” Magnus laughed “it would be us..”

“Oh” Alec bit his lip but smiled as he looked down at his shoes as he walked “M A for you and then L E C for me then?”

“Or just M for me and you get the rest to spell out Alec” Magnus replied, Alec could hear that he was smiling even if he didn’t see it.

“That hardly seem fair, why don’t you get more letters?” Alec kept looking down, feeling warm even with how cold it was.

“Maglec? That sounds like a bug” Magnus laughed.

“Magder” Alec tried “no, I guess it doesn’t work with my full name either” Alec looked up at Magnus and smiled “But why is your names first?”

“Oh so you want Algus instead do you?” Magnus’s eyes were watering because of the wind and his eyeliner was running a little but because of how strong the wind was it just looked like ‘wings’.

“No, I guess Malec is the best name” Alec smiled “have you given this a lot of thought since you already knew that?” Alec asked as the wind screamed in his ears when they reached a crossing.

“Maybe a little bit” Magnus smiled and it was so soft Alec felt an aching in his chest.

Grabbing Magnus hand, Alec pulled him down the crossing street and behind a wall where a car stood parked which shielded them from the view of those in the street and also gave some shelter from the wind- pushing Magnus up against the white stone wall, Alec leaned in and kissed him, pressing his body against his as their teeth and lips met. Magnus seemed almost a little shocked, but soon enough he reached around Alec and pushed his hands into the back pockets of his trousers and pulled their hips against each other.

Alec let out a soft moan as Magnus pressed back against him, rolling his hips which created friction that again made Alec’s legs feel a little week. Alec could taste the cider Magnus had earlier mixed with the taste of just him as they kissed, Alec hungrily sucking and nibbling at Magnus’ lips and tongue- loving his they seemed to just fit against each other. Alec playfully bit Magnus’ lower lip before letting go and pulling a little back, meeting Magnus’ eyes- not understanding how he had been the one that had initiated this and having no idea how he had dared to.

“I’m sorry” Alec whispered, not moving away- enjoying the feel of Magnus’ hands in his pockets, pressed against his ass.

“For?” Magnus’ smiled as he licked his lips that now looked a little red and sore.

Looking into Magnus eyes, Alec saw that they looked a little strange and there was a thin line just outside the coloured bit of them.

“Do you wear glasses?” Alec knew he changed the subject, but he hadn’t noticed before.

“Eh, no” Magnus smiled, clearly surprised by the change of subject.

“But you are wearing lenses” Alec smiled “I never noticed before, I don’t even think I’ve seen you take them in or out”.

Magnus lowered his eyes and his expression dropped.

“Hey, don’t.. I don’t care if you wear lenses.. I just never noticed before” Alec said and reached up to cup Magnus' face to get him to look at him again, feeling how cold he felt to the touch.

Magnus tried to move but Alec was in his way and his body blocked him.

“I’m sorry” Alec repeated himself from earlier, but now he actually meant it, not having known that Magnus didn’t like the subject.

“I don’t wanna talk about it” Magnus said and pulled his hands back and when he did Alec realised that he was trembling.

“You are freezing” Alec said and let go of him, not about to force himself on him if Magnus didn’t want him to stand this close. Taking a step back, Alec opened his jacket and pulled it off and handed it to Magnus.

Alec only had a t-shirt under his jacket and the second he removed his jacket he could feel the cold wind sting against his exposed skin, but it didn’t matter.

“I can’t” Magnus looked at him again “you are going to get a cold”.

“Just take it Magnus, all the guys around here wear t-shirts year around when they go out.. I should manage back to the flat” Alec said and shifted his grip on his jacket so he could pull it on Magnus.

Magnus hesitated but Alec shook the jacket and gave Magnus a look like he wasn’t messing around and finally Magnus took a step away from the wall and let Alec help him with the jacket.

“There” Alec said as Magnus turned around again. Reaching down, Alec grabbed the zipper and zipped it all the way up even if it made Magnus look less ‘fabulous’ than normal- but at least he would be warm. The jacket was a little too big for Magnus, not the body as Magnus had wide strong shoulders but his arms were shorter than Alec’s and his upper body too- a little.

“Thank you” Magnus said, but he still had that sad look in his face.

“Don’t think about it” Alec replied as he started walking back to the street, Magnus following him as they made their way back to the flat.

  
———

  
They had hardly said anything to each other at all on the way back to the flat and when they got in it had gotten worse. They sat down in the couch in the kitchen but Magnus had sat down on the other end and was just looking down at his feet and shifted uncomfortably around on the spot. Alec’s arms still felt cold ten-fifteen minutes later, a period of time where Magnus hadn’t said anything or even looked at him so Alec let out a sigh and stood up and headed out of the room, slamming the door to their room shut behind himself. Not even bothering to get undressed, Alec got under the covers and pulled himself into a ball as he faced the wall, feeling a mix of disappointment and frustration over how it had ended.

Another fifteen minutes probably passed before there was a sound at the door before it was pushed open. Alec didn’t move, just stayed where he was and stared at the wall while sulking.

“Alexander” Magnus spoke softly as he closed the door behind himself.

“What?” Alec mumbled, not turning around.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to end like this.. I didn’t mean to weird you out”

Turning over in bed, Alec pressed his elbows into the mattress and lifted his upper body, looking at him and feeling a slight sting at how sad Magnus looked.

“People don’t really notice or when they do they don’t they don’t comment on it.. or I just brush it off” Magnus looked at him and he looked like what Alec imagined he himself often looked like, nervous.

“Why didn’t you just brush it off then?” Alec asked stubbornly.

“It just happened so suddenly and.. it’s you” Magnus’s voice was different from what it was usually.

“It’s me?” Alec didn’t understand.

“Yeah, I didn’t want you to notice and I don’t want to lie, not to you” Magnus spoke clearly even now.

“I don’t care if you wear lenses, I am not THAT shallow” Alec huffed.

Magnus looked down at the floor and Alec felt a strong need to get up and just hug him for some reason.

“My eyesight is just fine, I use colour contacts because there is something wrong with them and they look really fucked up and it freaks people out” Magnus said as he looked up again and it looked like he was close to tears.

Alec felt some of the frustration from earlier disappear as he watched him, realising that it wasn’t something superficial like he had thought and something that clearly bothered Magnus a lot.

“OK” Alec said and shifted over until he was almost pushed up against the wall “come on” he said and nodded his head to the side.

Magnus looked a little confused but walked over and when he did, Alec lifted the covers and let him get in next to him. When Magnus was under the covers next to him, Alec wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close, having needed to just hug him. Alec had never been good with words, had never known what to say or when to say it so he decided to not say anything and instead just held him - hoping that it would be enough for Magnus and that it would make him feel better.

Magnus reached around him and buried his face against the crock of his neck, but he also didn’t say anything so they just both just lay like that, Alec gently running his hand up and down Magnus’ back in a way he hoped was comforting until he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Good Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>    
>  [@BBMonarch at Twitter](https://twitter.com/BBMonarch)   
>  [@BlueberryMonarch at Instagram](https://instagram.com/blueberrymonarch)   
> 
> 
> * * *

The next morning, Alec opened his eyes and let out a frustrated groan at how warm he was and closed his eyes again instantly. Fully dressed under the covers with Magnus half wrapped around him with the sun trying to push though the thick curtains- it felt like he was melting and the air in the room did nothing to help, feeling heavy and thick as he inhaled. Not moving, Alec could feel the sweat along his hairline and everywhere his skin was in contact with the covers and worse where Magnus was in contact with him- which was all of his front and his legs as well as Magnus’ arm that rested over his waist and on his back.

Magnus let out a groan of his own not long after and then a whimper.

“You OK?” Alec asked, wondering if he had ever felt as uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time in his entire life.

“I fell asleep with the lenses in, my eyes are on fire” Magnus whimpered but didn’t move away and instead his hold around Alec was tightened some.

Alec tried to shift a little but his bed was so narrow that there wasn’t much room to move on when they were both laying in it.

“I think I’m dying” Alec groaned but couldn’t find it in himself to get up or move away from Magnus, even if there had been room to do so.

“Don’t die” Magnus said and Alec could hear in his voice that he was pouting.

“I think my blood has been replaced with lava” Alec replied and rolled over on his back, pulling Magnus along so that he half rested on top of him which probably wasn’t smart considering how warm he was, but he didn’t want to let go of him just yet.

Magnus moved with him effortlessly and rested his head against his shoulder and tangled his legs up with Alec’s “That sounds kind of hot, you being a little volcano”.

“Yes, but hot as in I think it's actually boiling and not hot as in... You know, eh” Alec stuttered the last bit.

“Sexy?” Magnus mumbled, finishing his sentences like he usually did when Alec started fumbling with his words.

“Mmhm” Alec nodded “I’m so uncomfortable and I think I’ve been sweating enough to fill a pool” Alec went on and he didn’t even think he was exaggerating that much as he could feel his t-shirt and jeans stick to his skin.

“Wow, Thanks for that. You really know how to turn a guy on, don’t you” Magnus mumbled, his tone slightly sarcastic.

Alec could feel himself blush and the added heat of the blushing wasn’t very welcoming as he was already unimaginable warm.

“Sorry” Alec almost just whispered “It’s not because of you, I just am really gross now”

“Don’t worry, I don’t know if I want you to actually open your eyes and look at me either. I think all the white in my eyes is red and I have probably helped on filling that pool you mentioned” Magnus replied and the returning softness in his voice made Alec relax a little again.

Alec felt a small smile tug in the corner of his mouth at Magnus reply, not believing Magnus could ever look like what he himself felt like right now.

“I’m sure you look beautiful as always” Alec replied and only realised as he said it what he actually said.

Magnus didn’t reply and Alec clenched his eyes shut in embarrassment, feeling a little panicky which with the blush and the heat was now starting to become a problem.

“I mean that, erm... You know that with how you normally look and” Alec started as Magnus moved and Alec only shut up as Magnus’ lips captured his and silenced him with a wet kiss. Letting out a content sigh against Magnus lips, Alec relaxed again and welcome the kiss as he moved his hands to Magnus’ back, feeling that he indeed was hot too, the fabric feeling warm and damp against his fingers.

Magnus moved further over him and Alec felt a strange rush as Magnus’s legs straddled his waist and his hands were up on the side of his head, holding it in place as he deepened the kiss. They both tasted of sleep and drinks from last night, but Alec didn’t care as he sucked Magnus’ tongue into his mouth and ran his hands down Magnus back.

Alec was so caught up in the kiss that when Magnus rolled his hips down over him, the surprise of how it felt made Alec unable to hold back a needy moan. Magnus smirked against his lips and did it again and even though Alec was somewhat prepared for the friction, he shivered and ached his back, his member quickly growing and pressed uncomfortably against the clothed ‘prison’ that was his jeans.

Magnus bit and sucked at Alec’s lower lip as he kept moving his hips in a rolling motion and if Alec had thought he had felt warm before, this was truly boiling. Alec’s skin was burning as he let his hands slide down over Magnus lower back and to his ass- grabbing a firm hold of his cheeks and pressing him down over himself, moaning at the new type of friction it created.

“Fuck” Magnus moaned, digging his fingertips into Alec’s scalp. Knowing that he had that effect on Magnus made Alec feel almost a little proud, and he pushed his hips a little off the mattress to meet Magnus’ movements, shivering at the new feeling.

Magnus’ hands moved down to his waist and he started pulling Alec’s t-shirt up and to his own surprise, Alec didn’t mind or even worry and willingly lifted his arms when Magnus pulled out of the kiss to get it fully off him. Opening his eyes, Alec looked at Magnus for the first time that morning and he could see what Magnus had talked about. Sitting up over him, Magnus’ eyes looked sore and red, his make-up was smeared out around his eyes like he was a panda and his shirt clung to him from sweat- and still, Alec thought he was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Reaching out, Alec tugged at the end of Magnus shirt and smiled as Magnus took the hint and unbuttoned the three top buttons before he pulled the shirt up over his head and threw it away.

There was an urgency in the way they both moved and the second Magnus’ shirt was off, Alec pushed his upper body off the mattress to be able to capture Magnus’ lips again, his chest pressing against Magnus and both of them felt at least a few degrees warmer than they should. The new angle of their bodies forced more of Magnus’ weight down over Alec and his now painfully hard erection, making Alec moan in lust as he moved his hands up over Magnus’ naked back.

“I don’t want to push” Magnus sounded out of breath as he spoke between the kisses “but this is happening, right?”

Alec blushed, having never been in a position like he was now. The seconds he was given the opportunity to think about what was happening he felt a cold wave of panic and nerves- but his body didn’t want any of it and it ached to be touched and for this to continue is the direction it was already heading. Letting his short nails grace down Magnus’ back, Alec nodded, deciding that this was as good of a time as any and that he truly wanted this.

“Thank fuck” Magnus moaned and pushed Alec back down onto the mattress, leaning down over him and curved his back to be able to reach his neck, sucking at his warm skin and nibbling at the abused skin seconds later. Alec groaned and closed his eyes as Magnus made his way down his neck, leaving sloppy kisses and a wet trails from where he licked at marks left from bites and nibbles.

“Are you married foreplay?” Magnus groaned against his neck as one of his hands hand moved down between them and was undoing the button of Alec’s jeans, which he managed impressivly well only using one hand.

“What?” Alec gasped as Magnus sunk his teeth into his neck “No, no... I’m not married to anything except the end bit” Alec moaned as he pushed his hands in between their bodies too, trying to undo Magnus’ trousers. Alec had finally made up his mind that he wanted to do this, and having it drag out before it actually happened was not what he needed, so that Magnus’ also didn’t feel the need to do all the extra stuff now was just what Alec needed to hear.

Alec opened his eyes when Magnus pushed up again, but Magnus didn’t meet his eyes and instead looked down between them as he helped him undo his trousers. When he had, Magnus further pushed his body up until he was standing in the bed- one foot on each side of Alec’s hips as he started pulling his trousers and briefs down. Alec’s breath hitched in his chest as he watched Magnus undress full in front and over him. Magnus’ now freed erection bobbed as he lifted his legs to get out of his trousers completely and Alec’s mouth actually watered at the sight of him. Alec’s own erection throbbed in his jeans and he reached down and grabbed a hold of the waistband of his jeans do push them down as his eyes were locked on Magnus’ naked form, not getting over how incredibly hot he was.

“God, you are perfect” Magnus said as he lowered himself down over him again as soon as Alec had gotten his jeans off. His erection now pressing between Magnus’ cheeks and the sensation of his warm skin against his member made Alec feel slightly dizzy and he moaned and pushed his head back into the pillow. Magnus sat over him and rocked back and forth, letting Alec’s cock slide between his cheeks and Alec was sure he would actually lose his mind over his good it felt.

“You don’t by any chance have lube?” Magnus groaned, resting his hands against Alec’s chest.

“No, don’t you?” Alec groaned as he reached down and ran his hands up Magnus’ thighs, feeling his cock leak heavily as his excitement grew.

“No. Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Magnus cursed repeatedly and let his head fall back as he kept rolling his hips.

“What?” Alec whimpered.

“OK, OK... Fuck” Magnus groaned “I’ve seen you use moisturiser, where do you keep it”

“I don’t” Alec moaned as Magnus kept rolling his hips “think that’s a good substitute, I read online that...”

“I know its not ideal, but I need you to fuck me right now and that's what we have so I’ll just wash really well after” Magnus interrupted as he grabbed a hold of his own erection and lazily stroked it a few times, moaning as he kept on pushing down over Alec’s cock.

“On the chair then” Alec gasped unable to take his eyes of Magnus, his own cock bordering on uncomfortably hard as he the leaking pre-cum smeared out between Magnus’ cheeks, making the sliding between them feel even better.

“OK” Magnus groaned and leaned down over him, crushing their lips together in a desperate kiss that both of them fought to control. Letting Magnus win, Alec parted his lips and welcomed Magnus tongue into his mouth, letting him swirl his tongue around his. When Magnus had moved forward, his cock pressed down against Alec’s and they both moaned as Magnus moved his hips, rubbing them together.

Alec moved his hands down and helped pull Magnus’ cheeks apart as Magnus had clearly found the lotion and reached behind himself, letting out sounds that were a mix of whimpers and soft moans against Alec’s lips. The realisation of what was coming made Alec’s skin tingle and he grunted in pleasure as Magnus tongue massaged against his, letting Magnus claim his mouth as he tried to rock his hips under him to create further friction.

Alec was struggling to fully take in what was actually happening but he had never felt what he was feeling now and the look and feel of Magnus as his body noticeably trembled while he went about preparing himself was enough to reassure Alec that he was doing the right thing.

“Fuck...” Magnus gasped as he pulled a little back. Breathing hard he leaned to the side and reached down to the floor and found his trousers, going though his pockets until he found his wallet and pulled a condom out of it before he dropped the trousers to the floor again. Moving a little up and back, Magnus ripped the wrapper open with one hand and his teeth, spitting the wrapper out to the side as soon as he got it open and reached down and grabbed a firm hold of Alec’s cock.

Closing his eyes, Alec bit his lip to stop from moaning loudly as Magnus rolled the condom down over his cock and then whimpered as Magnus gave it a few quick strokes, making sure the condom stayed in place.

“Ready, hun?” Magnus asked, his voice dark and filled with lust as he moved over him.

Alec opened his eyes again and nodded almost frantically as he felt the head of his cock press against Magnus’ opening. Alec was sure the sight of Magnus would be enough for him to lose his words, but the effect was truly confirmed when Magnus sank down on him and Alec parted his lips but couldn’t form a single word and instead only grunted desperately.

Magnus whimpered but didn’t stop until Alec was fully buried inside of him, staying still for a little bit as he made a face- clearly trying to adjust to the intruding member buried inside of him. The sensation of Magnus’ inner walls clenching around his cock tightly and the heath from being so deep inside Magnus was making it hard to breath and Alec gasped as his eyes rolled back. His hands moved down around is hips and his short nails scratched hard at Magnus’ thighs when Magnus started to move over him, making Alec feel things he didn’t think was possible to feel.

Alec watch as Magnus lean a little forward and steadies himself against his chest before moving his legs, digging his soles into the mattress instead of his knees which let him move faster over him. Biting his lower lip hard enough to taste blood, Alec groaned deep in his throat as his vision blurred and his entire body trembled with pleasure.

Alec’s mind was spinning and he couldn’t concentrate on one thing or in any way think clearly as Magnus moved over him. The room around them fell away and all Alec could think about was how good it felt when Magnus clenched and unclenched around him as he rode him.

Not wanting to close his eyes, Alec force them to stay open as he watched Magnus close his as he fucks himself on his cock. Pulling one hand back, Alec licked his hand before reaching down again and wrapped it around Magnus’ cock and was immediately rewarded with a needy moan from Magnus as he started stroking him. Alec watched as Magnus tried to push down over him and up into his hand, his lips parted as he breathed hard and there was nothing he had ever seen that could compare to the sight- the image burning into his memory as he took it in. Bending his knees, Alec dug his heels into the mattress and started thrusting his hips up whenever Magnus pushed down, when he did- Magnus changed his footing again leaned down over him, kissing him greedily and then went back to rolling his hips only as Alec took over, thrusting up into him.

Their bodies moved together effortlessly and Alec was completely lost in a feeling of bliss as he moved his free arm up around Magnus, trying to pull him as close as possible, desperately needing to feel all of him. Their lips, teeth and tongues collided as they kissed and Alec was sweating again and already felt like he needed to hold back. Magnus’ was clamping around him tightly and the both of them gasped and moaned into the kiss as Alec’s cock twitched and swelled up deep inside of Magnus.

“Magnus” Alec gasped against his lips.

“Mmhm” Magnus moaned, rolling his hips back over him.

Alec struggled to even remember any of the words in the English language when Magnus traced his lips with his tongue, tasting and smelling of sex.

“I’m so... I’m gonna” Alec trembled, feeling his own cock pulsate deep inside of Magnus. He knew it was quick, but he was already painfully close and it was taking all he had to hold back.

“Come for me” Magnus breathed, their lips brushing together as he spoke.

“But” Alec whimpered, digging his nails into Magnus’ back but was unable to even finish what he was about to say when the burning sensation in his abdomen spread though his body and made him trembled almost violently. An explosion of pure ecstasy took over his mind and Alec moaned loudly as he kept on thrusting up into Magnus, feeling like the gripping tightness of him was working to milk him. Magnus was still rocking over him, back onto his cock and forward into his hand as he captured his lips and swallowed his moans when he climaxed.

When Alec managed to clear his mind after coming, he could feel the drops of sweat forming both all around his hairline but also down his spine. The pleasure he had just experienced still echoing though his body as he stayed still, breathing heavily as Magnus nibbled and sucked at his lower lip.

“Fuck...” Alec whimpered.

“You are so hot when you come” Magnus purred against his lips, still rolling his lips.

Alec clenched his eyes shut and swallowed hard “But you didn’t...”

“I still can” Magnus was still purring as he licked Alec’s lips.

“You want me to... Erm” Alec was still feeling groggy and his body still tingled in a gentle way.

“Give me a hand?” Magnus finished.

Alec shook his head slowly “not a hand”.

“Oh” Magnus pulled a little back and gave a playful smile as he kept rolling his hips slowly to thrust into Alec’s hand- the soreness of his eyes overshadowed by how lust filled they were as he met Alec’s “I would love that” he whispered, emphasising the word ‘love’.

Alec nodded, trying to not feel so nervous “Tell me what to do, OK?”

“You’re the best” Magnus smiled and let a small kiss linger on his lips before slowly pushing himself up of him both of them moved until Magnus was laying on his back with Alec sitting on his knees between Magnus’. Alec had thrown the used condom away and now looked down at Magnus’ cock which looked huge now he really looked at it. Magnus was slowly stroking himself and the sight of him all laid out for him like that was making Alec’s cock twitch even though he had just come.

“OK” Alec swallowed slowly, wanting to do it without actually understanding why. Leaning down over Magnus, Alec replaced Magnus’ hand with his own and opened his mouth, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he closed his lips around the head and pushed his head down over the thick cock.

Magnus groaned and Alec closed his eyes as the bitter and salty taste of pre-cum spread in his mouth. It wasn’t too bad of a taste and Alec tried to moved further down over the length, letting it push at the back of his throat until he gagged a little which forced him to pull a little back. One of Magnus’ hands were in his hair and his fingers brushed though his hair almost lovingly as Alec tried to press his lips tightly around the cock without his teeth doing the same.

“You don’t have to... Oh, try to take it all, just use your tongue and hand” Magnus moaned and Alec pulled his head back and instead concentrated on a smaller part of the full length, using his hand to stroke him while he pressed his tongue against the head and let the tip of his tongue trace the slit and down around the rim of the head. Magnus’ body shook and his moans became much more frequent which made Alec feel more comfortable and sure of what he was doing. Twirling his tongue around the cock, Alec sucked it hard into his mouth as he pushed down over him, letting Magnus push back against his throat a few times before pulling back again, changing the tightness of his grip regularly the way Magnus had done when he had helped him out earlier.

Opening his eyes and lifting them to look at Magnus, Alec felt a rush of pleasure at the sight of Magnus who had one hand now fisted into his hair and the other fisted into his own, his lips parted and eyes shut as he breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling quickly as Alec bobbed his head over him. Feeling a new wave of confidence, Alec moved his free hand up and brushed his thumb over Magnus’ slick and abused opening, thrilled as Magnus gasped and lifted and parted his legs further for him.

“Yes, do that...” Magnus gasped, aching his back “use two fingers... Feel for, oh fuck... kind of a bump and” Magnus rolled his hips again, pushing a little further up into Alec’s mouth. Pulling back, Alec quickly sucked two of his fingers into his mouth and tried to leave them as wet as possible before he took the head of Magnus’s cock back into his mouth and massaged his tongue against it while moving his fingers down to Magnus’s opening and slowly started to push his fingers into him.

It was strange but it didn’t feel in any way uncomfortable, on the contrary the gripping feeling around his fingers made Alec moan around the cock in his mouth, which in turn made Magnus moan and push back against Alec’s fingers. Pushing them deeper into Magnus, Alec tried to feel for what Magnus had called a ‘bump’. After thrusting his fingers slowly in and out of him a few times, Alec found something. Trying to feel what it was, Alec almost jumped when Magnus’s entire body twitched and Magnus loudly gasped and the grip in his hair tightening to the point Magnus almost pulled chunks out of it.

“Fuck, God yes just there” Magnus moaned, sounding like he was about to cry “Not hard, just like you did...”

Alec found it a bit hard to move both his hands and his head at the same time and settled for bobbing his head while massaging the little bundle of nerves inside of Magnus, enjoying the clenching and unclenching around his fingers and the sobbing moans Magnus let out as he pushed back against him and up into his mouth.

“Yes, fuck... I’m gonna, Alexander, Oh god” Magnus was mumbling and groaning words out of context as his cock twitched and swelled in Alec’s mouth and the little bump inside of him expanded- giving Alec a clear idea of what was happening. Keeping it up until Magnus cried and shook under him, Alec felt a thick bitter liquid spurted into his mouth. A little shocked by the taste and texture of it, Alec tried to keep his head down but pulled back too soon and the last of it splashed across his face. Luckily, Alec had closed his eyes as he felt it against his lips, cheek and running down over his closed eyelid.

The taste lingered in his mouth as Alec pushed up, slowly pulling his fingers out of Magnus as he sat back on his knees and licked his lips, tasting more of Magnus as he did. Opening one eye while keeping the other clenched shut, Alec looked at Magnus who was still on his back but now had a wide satisfied smile on his face.

“Did you get it in the eye?” Magnus chuckled as Alec met his eyes with his one opened one and nodded.

“Aww, sweetie... Come here” Magnus lifted his arms off the bed like he was inviting him in for a hug or a cuddle.

Alec was about to reach up to try to rub the cum away from his eye but was interrupted by Magnus.

“No, don’t do that you’ll just rub it into you eye”

Alec pouted and tried to keep the eye shut as he crawled over to Magnus who had pulled himself up so he was sitting. Reaching him, Alec stood on all fours over Magnus’ legs as he reached up and very gently wiped his thumb over Alec’s shut eye and then leaned in and gently pressed his moist lips against the eyelid and gave it a soft wet kiss. When Magnus leaned back again, Alec tried to open both of his eyes and gave a shy smile as it went well and sat back, straddling Magnus’ lower thighs before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Would you be weirded out if I told you that right now, you are most likely the most gorgeous thing to ever exist?” Magnus smiled softly and everything about him just looked and felt gentle.

Alec felt a blush creep up his face and his ears burned as he lowered his eyes to focus on Magnus lips “A little, maybe”.

Magnus chuckled again and reached out, his fingers ghosting over Alec’s naked chest.

“Kiss me?!” Magnus gave a crocked smile before kissing the air between them.

“Erm... I have morning breath and...” Alec made a face as he moved his tongue around in his mouth, the bitter and salty taste still very much prominent in his mouth “you know, cum mouth” Alec added and pointed at his mouth.

Magnus covered his mouth and nose with his hands, laughing warmly, his eyes shining as he looked at him “My God, you are like cotton-candy levels of sweet” Magnus still laughed as he lowered his hands again “I don’t care about any of that, I still want you to kiss me, please?!” Magnus pouted, looking truly happy and Alec wondered if he looked as happy himself, surely feeling that happy as he shifted forward and leaned in to kiss Magnus.

It was a softer and warmer kiss and Alec didn’t feel the urgency in it like he had felt before and while they had had sex. Resting his forehead against Magnus’, Alec let himself notice how hard his heart was beating in his chest and how he was struggling to not constantly smile.

Then, out of the blue, a flood of panic washed over Alec and he pulled back, feeling a little sick.

“What it is?” Magnus looked genuinely worried as he looked at him.

“You think they heard? Jace and Clary?” Alec felt like he couldn’t breathe, not at all ready for Jace and Clary to know about what had happened. Looking over his shoulder at the door, Alec felt a little cold as he inhaled sharply but struggled to exhale and just sat there chewing on his lip.

“No” Magnus reached out and brushed his hand down the side of Alec’s face gently “It’s like 7am on a Sunday, they will be sleeping”.

Turning to look at Magnus again, Alec felt not just a fear of being caught but guilty about the hint of sadness in Magnus’ eyes.

“I’m sorry” Alec stuttered.

“You have no reason to be” Magnus was being understanding and gentle as always, which did nothing to make Alec feel less guilty. “They won’t have heard, just relax and breath hun... Maybe we should get some more shut-eye as well?”

Alec nodded, hating that his own insecurities had torn at the warm and happy feeling he had been filled with just seconds ago.

Moving over, Alec moved to lay down in the bed as Magnus started to get off the bed and Alec quickly and without thinking grabbed a hold of his arm and pulled him back.

“In case they come in?!” Magnus said as he turned and looked at him, that hint of sadness still there.

“They never do” Alec heard himself say, and it was true, Jace and Clary never just barged into their room and the chances of it happening today of all days were close to zero.

“You sure?” There was a little tug at Magnus lips when he asked and Alec nodded.

“Maybe you should take out your lenses?” Alec asked as Magnus’ eyes still looked sore. Magnus face fell quickly and he looked so different, almost scared from it even being mentioned “I won’t look” Alec tried and clenched his eyes shut and pointed at them “I’ll be like this, and you can be the little spoon and then I won’t see”.

When Alec opened his eyes again, Magnus nodded slowly, still looking a bit unsure.

“Promise to not look?” Magnus’ voice was small as he spoke.

Alec nodded and gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“OK, I’ll take them out then” Magnus said and pulled away and walked over to his hide of the room. Alec couldn’t help but watch how his hips and naked bottom moved when he walked and he bit his lip, smiling at how strange but good Magnus was able to make him feel without even trying, by only being in the same room as him.

“Get back in when you are done” Alec said, trying to sound sure since Magnus seemed so unsure and then rolled over on his side, back against the room and Magnus to give him the privacy he wanted and maybe even needed.

A few minutes passed before Alec felt the bed move, but he waited until Magnus was laying completely still before he turned over to see the back of Magnus’ head. Rolling over, Alec reached around Magnus waist and pulled his back up against his own chest, pushing his knees in behind Magnus’ and rested his head on the pillow behind Magnus’.

Magnus felt a little tense at first but slowly relaxed back against him and then found Alec’s hand around his front and laced his fingers in with Alec’s.

Alec would be lying if he had said he wasn’t curious about what could possibly be up with Magnus’ eyes and a part of him wanted to get a peek at them, but he also understood that it was a sensitive subject and like Magnus was treating him and his fear of people finding out, so he would treat this issue. Kissing the back of Magnus’ head, Alec closed his eyes feeling content and happy again- fighting the urge to let his fears creep in, wanting to enjoy the moment and luckily doing so until he drifted off to sleep again.


	6. Stumbling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That took longer than normal for me to update. Sorry! But ta-da.. chapter 6!
> 
>   
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>  [@BBMonarch at Twitter](https://twitter.com/BBMonarch)   
>  [@BBMonarch at Instagram](https://instagram.com/bbmonach)   
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> * * *

When Alec had woken for the second time that day, Magnus had not been in bed with him any more and also not in his own bed. Having almost missed the uncomfortable heat from early that morning, Alec had wrapped his covers tightly around himself and stayed in bed for a little longer than normal and just enjoyed the content and satisfied feeling inside of him.    
  
Alec got up give or take 30 minutes later and had a shower before heading into the kitchen, finding the entire gang hanging out there. Meeting Magnus’ eyes, Alec couldn’t help but smile and looked away feeling oddly tingly and quickly distracted himself by heading to the fridge, getting a yoghurt and a banana before sitting down in one of the less comfortable chairs.    
  
Magnus was half laying in the couch, his legs resting over both Clary and Jace’s lap, Clary resting her head against Jace’s shoulder and Jace watching South Park reruns, all of them looking a little exhausted.    
  
“Anyone  doing  anything today?” Alec asked finally after a few minutes of none of them saying anything.    
  
“I don’t feel too good” Clary moaned sadly, keeping her eyes closed.    
  
“Hungover” Jace commented without taking his eyes of the telly.    
  
Alec looked over at Magnus, not really planning to but it was like his attention was just automatically pulled towards him.    
  
“I got work” Magnus said with a playful warm smile on his face.    
  
“We are celebrating Simon at 10” Jace added, but Alec still looked at Magnus, smiling back at him.    
  
“If I am not dead by then” Clary sobbed.    
  
“What are we celebrating?” Alec asked, biting his lower lip as his and Magnus’ eyes stayed locked together.    
  
“He got his licence” Clary mumbled.    
  
Alec wanted to comment that Simon already had his licence, but he didn’t care enough to dig into what was happening.    
  
“Will you come?” Alec asked, addressing Magnus.    
  
“Mmhm” Magnus nodded and Alec wondered how was it possible for him to somehow be even more beautiful now than he had been yesterday.    
  
Lowering his eyes, Alec looked down at his yoghurt while he ate, smiling to himself at the comfortable buzzing feeling inside of him.    
  
Alec had almost finished his breakfast when Clary pushed Magnus legs away and got up, whimpering as she hugged her head with her hands and stumbled past him towards the hallways.    
  
“Babe?” Jace peaked up and looked after her and Alec smiled at how worried he sounded.    
  
“I need to lay down, I think I’m dying” Clary sobbed as she exited the room and headed for her and Jace’s bedroom.    
  
Peeling the banana, Alec broke of a piece and shoved it in his mouth as he looked at Jace who looked unsure if he should stay or go, finding their relationship and how they reacted to each other and what was happening rather sweet.    
  
“I should” Jace frowned and then stood up and half sat down again.    
  
“Go” Alec nodded, his mouth still full and then rolled his eyes as Jace hurried out of the room to follow Clary.    
  
Still chewing slowly, Alec looked back to see Magnus still half laying down on the couch, smiling.    
  
“What are you smiling about?” Alec asked as he finally swallowed.    
  
“What are you smiling about?” Magnus echoed but emphasised ‘you’ to turn the question back around on him, his smile widening.    
  
Alec lowered his eyes for a second, feeling a soft blush burn in his cheeks.    
  
“You, I guess” Alec replied, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing but in truth starting to feel silly at how he couldn’t stop smiling.    
  
“That's adorable” Magnus chuckled warmly.   
  
“Shut up” Alec mumbled, still having the silly grin on his face as he got up to throw away the banana peel and the empty yoghurt container.    
  
Standing with his back against Magnus, Alec jumped a little at the feel of hands moving around his waist but calmed quickly and turned around without pulling back. He knew it was a little risky, but the chance of Jace and Clary returning so quickly were almost non existing, so when Magnus tiptoed up, he met his lips and returned the soft kiss, enjoying the buzzing as it increased.    
  
Alec reached down and grabbed a hold of Magnus and lifted him off the floor, smiling at Magnus’ surprised yelp as he turned them and sat  Magnus  down on the kitchen counter, staying between his legs.    
  
“I got work in 30 minutes” Magnus pouted and rubbed his nose against his and Alec felt his heart skip a beat in his chest as Magnus hands moved up to the back of his head, combing his fingers through his hair.    
  
“Will it be busy?” Alec asked - making sure to listen for Jace and Clary.    
  
“No” Magnus still pouted and Alec smiled again as he leaned in and kissed his pouting lip, loving the small happy sound that Magnus made.    
  
“Want me to come down later and keep you company?” Alec asked, running his hands up Magnus’ thighs to his hips and waist.    
  
“You don’t have to study?” Magnus looked a little hopeful.    
  
“It can wait until tomorrow” Alec smiled.    
  
“In that case, I would love it if you came and kept me company” Magnus nodded and stretched his neck, kissing the tip of Alec’s nose.    
  
Scrunching up his nose, Alec laughed and stepped back.    
  
“I will then” Alec said as Magnus let himself down from the counter and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the hallways.    
  
Letting himself get pulled out into the hall and back towards their bedroom, Alec lifted his eyebrows in question.    
  
“I got work in 30 minutes” Magnus repeated but this time without pouting and instead with a playful smile tugging at his lips.    
  
“Oh” Alec bit his lip as he closed the door behind them and then gasped as Magnus pushed him against the closed door, crushing their lips together again. Closing his eyes, Alec let Magnus control the kiss and fought back the urge to moan as Magnus’ hand moved down over his crotch, cupping him through the fabric of his jeans.    
  
Shivering, Alec tipped his head to the side to give Magnus better access as Magnus moved to kiss down his neck, his hands working on undoing Alec’s trousers, but as much as Alec wanted what he expected were coming, his cock twitched at the idea of it being the other way around. Swallowing, Alec opened his eyes and grabbed a hold of Magnus’ shoulders and pulled him a little back.    
  
Magnus looked at him a little surprised and pulled his hands back and Alec wondered if he maybe thought Alec didn’t want him to touch him at all.    
  
“Can we, erm” Alec blushed “Could maybe I …  Instead?” Alec stuttered.    
  
Magnus expression softened again and his hands moved back to his hips “Are you sure?”    
  
Alec nodded quickly, feeling his cheeks burn a little again but for some reason he liked the thought of it better.    
  
“I don’t know what I could have possibly done to deserve you, Alexander” Magnus smiled playfully and leaned up and let the tip of his tongue trace Alec’s lower lip.    
  
Shivering a little, Alec blinked slowly and let his hands move down over Magnus chest and stomach until he found his belt and undid it. His hands were trembling slightly but calmed some as Magnus kissed him, purring softly against his lips. Unzipping Magnus’ trousers, Alec took a deep breath and lowered himself down onto his knees, leaning in as he lifted Magnus’ shirt- kissing the soft skin above the waistline of his briefs.    
  
Alec’s heart was racing in his chest as he moved his hands down, hooking his fingers into Magnus trousers and pulling them a little down. Kissing down over the fabric of his briefs, Alec felt a strange sense of relief as he felt Magnus’ hard member- having for some reason been scared he wouldn’t be as excited as him about what was happening. Lifting his eyes, Alec looked up and met Magnus’ eyes, seeing something slightly dark in them as Magnus brushed his fingers through his hair while biting his lip. Swallowing hard, Alec brought his focus back to the bulge in Magnus’ briefs- pulling the fabric back from his skin and down, freeing Magnus still growing erection.    
  
Alec could feel his own pulse and heartbeat in his ears as he leaned in and let his lips ghost over the velvet soft skin of Magnus’ member, feeling it twitch against them. It was exciting and scary at the same time and Alec wondered if he would ever not feel as nervous as he had felt this morning or now. Licking up the full length, Alec found that he tasted basically nothing now and closed his eyes to try to detect the little it did as he reached up and pulled the skin down, revealing the head of Magnus cock.   
  
Testing out what would get a reaction, Alec found that leaving sloppy kisses as well as using his tongue to trace around the head and over the slit was what made Magnus  react  in the most obvious ways. Magnus short nails scratched against his scalp as he massaged his head and Alec could tell he was biting back moans as he took him into his mouth, bobbing his head over the now fully hard cock. Alec found that it was easier like this, on his knees, than it had been when they had been laying down that morning as he now could use both his hands without worrying about steadying himself. Stroking him with one, Alec used his other to very gently massage and play with his balls, smiling around the cock in his mouth as Magnus let out a small helpless sound of pleasure and bucked his hips forward- pushing further into his mouth.    
  
The taste of salt spread in his mouth as Magnus’ erection started leaking pre-cum and Alec swallowed it back along with his saliva, falling into a steady rhythm, moving both his hands and head. Opening his eyes again, Alec tried to breath through his nose as he pushed a little deeper down onto the cock, his own throbbing in frustration in his trousers as Magnus kept on thrusting a little forward. Twirling his tongue around and massaging the head every time he pulled back, Alec could tell that Magnus was getting closer by the increasing amount of pre-cum and it  was strangely satisfying  to him and even brought him some pleasure.    
  
“I’m so” Magnus was trying to keep his voice low “ ... close” he stuttered as a warning but Alec just clenched his eyes shut, determined on getting him to finish and to be able to take it all this time and not pull back. Tightening and loosening his grip while he  stroke  him, Alec pushed far enough down over Magnus for his eyes to water, but Magnus was unable to hold back small moans now which meant he was truly close and Alec craved the feeling of being able to make him, so he pushed through it.    
  
Alec could feel Magnus cock swell in his mouth and hand seconds before he came. Magnus gripped a tight hold of his hair as his hips jerked and bucked out of rhythm of his previous thrusts as he started filling Alec’s mouth. Keeping his eyes shut tight, Alec tried to not be put off by the texture or taste and tried to swallow back as it came, shivering from the bitter taste. Alec managed to keep his lips wrapped around his cock until Magnus gasped and let go of his hair, having finished, and when Alec pulled back this time and let Magnus’ cock slip out from between his lips - there were nothing more coming.    
  
Sitting back on his heels, Alec made a face and shivered again as he tried to swallow back some of his own saliva.    
  
Magnus must have seen the face he made because soon he was tucked back in and was sitting down on the floor in front of him with a pleased but also concerned look on his face.    
  
“You don’t have to swallow, you know” Magnus whispered, leaning in and kissing his him, probably tasting himself on his lips.    
  
Alec returned the kiss but pulled back and shook his head “But I want to” Alec admitted, whispering as well.    
  
Magnus  hands  was on his face and neck, lovingly framing his face as he leaned in and rested their foreheads together.    
  
“You are perfect” Magnus whispered softly, his eyes closed.    
  
Feeling himself blush, Alec closed his eyes too and bit his lip- finding that compliments that came from Magnus felt different from compliments he got from anyone else- like they counted more somehow.    
  
Magnus tipped his head a little back and left a small kiss on his lips before he pulled back “I don’t have time to return the favour now…” He said as he let his fingertips brush up his thigh “…but maybe tonight?”    
  
Opening his eyes, Alec felt a tingle spread from low in his stomach and nodded quickly, having gone from not having thought much about sex to feeling like it was almost the only thing he could think about- feeling an almost desperate need to be close to Magnus.    
  
Alec saw that Magnus looked at his watched and then chewed on his lower lip.    
  
“I know you have to go, it’s OK” Alec said, not wanting Magnus to feel bad about leaving.    
  
Magnus nodded “By the way, I was wondering if you’d maybe like to go out with me again sometime… soon?”    
  
“Like  a,  eh” Alec lowered his eyes for a second before looking back at him “second date kinda thing?”    
  
“Yes, exactly like a second date” Magnus smiled, looking mind-numbingly beautiful to Alec.    
  
“I thought maybe that, since we kind of you know, did this that we wouldn’t” Alec said, not sure he knew how to say what he was thinking.    
  
Magnus chuckled “As much as I loved that, and this” Magnus smiled and nodded down to indicate he was talking about what just happened “I actually really like you, and I was hoping that maybe this could be something more than just one date and casual sex”    
  
“Casual sex” Alec echoed, for some reason feeling a slight sting at that being a possibility.    
  
Magnus paused and pulled a little back, looking different and a little cautious “Is that all you want this to be?”    
  
Alec shook his head, but he didn’t know how to put into words what he had already kind of hoped this was.    
  
“OK, good, good” Magnus nodded, looking still a bit cautious.    
  
“I have to go” Magnus went on and pushed up and Alec quickly followed “let me know though, if you want to”    
  
“Want what?” Alec frowned.    
  
Magnus looked confused “A second date”    
  
“Oh, yeah OK, yes” Alec nodded, feeling like Magnus looked.    
  
“You’ll think about it or you want to?” Magnus asked as he buttoned up his trousers and fastened his belt again.    
  
“Yes” Alec nodded quickly.    
  
Magnus covered his mouth to hold back a chuckle and shook his head before he quickly glanced at his watch again.    
  
“Oh my God sweetie, I would say ’thank God you have your good looks’, but I know for a fact that you are freakishly smart too so I guess it’s just you being adorable” Magnus smiled, having moved over to the door, his hand resting on the doorknob.    
  
“If you meant that you will think about it, say ‘one’ - if you meant that you want to go on a second date, say ‘two’” Magnus cleared up and Alec could feel himself blush again, knowing that he could be babbling mess and not listen before he answered when he was nervous but it somehow sometimes got much worse that normal with Magnus.    
  
“Eh ... ” Alec made a face “two”    
  
Magnus let out what looked like a sigh of relief “Two it is”    
  
“I’ll come by later” Alec smiled, feeling better when Magnus looked to be feeling better about everything, like he was mirroring his feelings.    
  
“OK” Magnus smiled and opened the door “Later, gorgeous” he smiled and winked before he hurried out the door.    
  
Getting his phone out of the pocket, Alec looked at the time and saw that it was five past which meant that Magnus was already late for work. Feeling a little bad, Alec walked over to his bed and lay down, typing in a message for Magnus but waited at least five minutes before he pressed send.    
  
‘Sorry I made you late for work’   
  
A message ticked in less than a minute later.    
  
‘Worth it x’   
  
———   
  
Clary and Jace had stayed in bed until almost 7, but when they did get up Clary seemed to be feeling much better. When they did get up, Alec had been on his way out to go see Magnus- having planned  on going there  a bit late so he could just hang around until Magnus was off, that way they could go to that thing with Simon together.    
  
Alec had sat at the bar with some way too sweet drink that Magnus had given him, having spent more time string it than drinking it as he chatted with Magnus whenever he had time to. It hadn’t been busy, so they had  ploughed through a fair few subjects like all of the different classes Alec were taking as well as Magnus filling Alec in on what countries he had visited the last year- which were like half of Asia. Alec had found out that Magnus had decided to take a year off his studies to travel Asia, but had miscalculated and ended up missing the deadline for applying for this year’s classes so a one year break had ended up being a two year one.    
  
Magnus talked about all the different countries, what he had done and what he had seen and Alec enjoyed just listening to him, finding everything about him fascinating and fun somehow. Alec did envy his lust for adventure- where Alec needed schedules and planning, Magnus just winged it - taking it as it came, seemingly without the fear of failure that always lurked in the back of Alec’s mind.   
  
When Magnus’ shift was over, it was five past ten, but Alec didn’t really worry too much about the time as the Hawaiian themed bar they were going to  was  just around the corner from where Magnus worked. Walking with Magnus, Alec felt a strange need to hold his hand- but instead shoved his hands into his pockets as they made their way to the bar.    
  
“You are late” Clary said and pulled Magnus down on the couch next to herself the second they came in.    
  
“I had work” Magnus smiled, being his charming self as always while Alec sat down in one of the chairs next to them.    
  
“What's your excuse?” Jace looked over at Alec as he sipped his drink through a straw from a glass(?!) shaped like a volcano.    
  
“I kept Magnus  company  at work” Alec said with a smile and then got up again before they could ask him any more questions, deciding to get himself a drink instead. Walking up to the bar that looked like it was built out of bamboo Alec stood behind Simon and Raphael who were ordering.    
  
“Baby, you can have whatever you like” Alec heard Raphael say before leaning in a possibly whispering something, Alec wasn’t sure.    
  
“I told you” Alec heard Magnus whisper behind him and he almost jumped as he turned to look at him.    
  
“What?” Alec whispered almost hissing-like back at him.    
  
“Sugar daddy” Magnus flashed him a wide grin and nodded in the direction of Raphael, trying to indicate with his eyes where Alec should be looking.    
  
Turning his attention back to Raphael and Simon, Alec let his eyes travel down their bodies until he noticed how Simon was discreetly holding onto just a few of Raphael’s fingers, rubbing his thumb over them. Raising his eyebrows, Alec tried to look at them to see if it was really something he had overlooked and once he started to look for it, it was screaming out at him. How close they stood, how Simon clumsily shifted on the spot and smiled whenever Raphael spoke, how their eyes met and the almost comically (once you noticed) way they both pulled apart when they turned around.    
  
“Alec, Magnus” Simon smiled, looking like his goofy self.    
  
“Simon, congratulation” Alec politely smiled and nodded, pretending he hadn’t been looking at them.    
  
“Thank you, I did have my licence already but I needed something extra to drive here” Simon beamed “which is really great because now I can drive to my classes and that will make life so much easier. Raphael used to drive me sometimes, but he has two cars so I can use his second one so, yay me!”   
  
“That’s awfully kind of you” Magnus replied, standing next to Alec now and supporting an almost playful grin as he looked at Raphael.    
  
Raphael seemed to struggle not to smile as he looked back at Magnus and then just nodded.    
  
“I’m glad you could come, any excuse to get shitfaced, yeah? like Jace always say” Simon nodded and sipped his drink from the same kind of volcano glass that Jace had.    
  
“Totally down for getting shitfaced” Magnus nodded in agreement as Raphael and Simon both smiled before walking past them and heading towards the table Jace and Clary already sat at.    
  
“How did you know?” Alec asked the second Raphael and Simon was out of ears reach.    
  
“What? That Raphael was Simon’s sugar daddy?” Magnus was chuckling.    
  
“No, well that too, but that he was …  You know, into guys?” Alec made a face as he leaned against the bar.    
  
“Please, my gaydar was going off like crazy the second I lay my eyes on him” Magnus was still chuckling as he turned his attention to the bartender and ordered two drinks “I’ll get you the first one, but I am no sugar daddy”.    
  
Alec huffed, shaking his head “there is no such thing as a gaydar and the myth of one is built on people wanting to confirm their perception of what a gay man is, which is usually rather crude stereotypes”    
  
“Wow” Magnus laughed “but fine, I kind of noticed them doing that hand-holding thing first time we met”.   
  
“Sorry” Alec mumbled and looked at his drink, which also came in one of those silly volcano glasses.    
  
“Sorry? For what? I was just impressed because that's the longest sentence I have ever heard you say to me without mixing your words up, which is adorable by the way” Magnus smiled as he paid for the drinks and picked up his own and turned to head back to the table.    
  
“Don’t bring it up, it makes it worse” Alec huffed again as he followed Magnus back over to the table.    
  
———   
  
It had actually been kind of fun and though Simon was still the dork he had always been, Raphael had somehow seemed to bring out a more bright and confident Simon which made for better company in Alec’s opinion. He had drank way too many of those volcano drinks, some which burned, and it loosened him up enough to enjoy himself more than he had done in a long time. Stumbling back to their flat, Jace and Clary was giggling and kissing as Alec and Magnus followed right behind, none of them fully capable of lifting their feet high enough to not keep on tripping and stumbling.   
  
Back inside, Alec had made his way into the bedroom, pushing Magnus up against the door as soon as it was closed behind them, just like Magnus had done with him earlier that day. Getting caught up in a heated kiss that quickly evolved to them struggling to undress the other as quickly as possible. Still stumbling, they had made their way over to Magnus’ bed and got tangled up in the sheets as Alec tried to touch and kiss every inch of Magnus’ body before Alec once again had been buried deep inside of Magnus. It hadn’t lasted long for either of them and not long after, they both drifted off in the tiny bed, exhausted from little activity and the alcohol.


	7. Something new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rushed as fuck! sorry

The last three weeks had flown by and Alec had noticed how much calmer he was now that he was letting the part of him that liked Magnus out. He was still worried around Clary and Jace who of course were around most of the time, especially when Jace had commented on how close him and Magnus had become, but Clary had calmed the situation by accusing Jace of being jealous which had turned the conversation around on Jace.    
  
Sex was also something that was starting to become a natural part of his day. Alec had been nervous in the beginning of how badly he wanted to rip Magnus’ cloths of at any time during the day, but luckily when he had decided to not try to initiate it- Magnus had. They would sleep in the same bed almost every night and even though one of them usually had to get up before the other, it was nice those mornings they both got to sleep in.    
  
Sleeping with his lenses in was taking its toll on Magnus’ eyes though and even though Alec sometimes reminded him of taking them out, Magnus sometimes chose to leave them in even though he woke up in pain the next morning.    
  


\------

  
Sitting in the kitchen eating noodles (which was the only thing Alec could afford the last week of this month), Alec waited while Clary and Jace ran around the little flat gathering up things they felt the need on their little trip.    
  
Jace would always go down to London the last weekend of the month, every other month, to see his mates and some family. Alec had joined him a few times, but Clary was going this time and also, with Clary and Jace gone it meant that he could spend some time with Magnus so he had declined the invitation this time around.    
  
“The car is here” Clary called out and Jace slid around the corner from the hall to the kitchen, spinning on the spot from how slippery his socks were.    
  
“Alec, do you have tenner?” Jace asked and looked at him pleadingly, clearly having forgot to swing by a cash point on the way back from class like he had promised Clary.    
  
Alec gave a smile and reached into his pocket and pulled out a five pound note and 4 pound coins “that's all I have” Alec said, handing it over.    
  
“You mean on you?” Jace asked, but he was already accepting the money. Alec knew he would hand it back to him right away if he told him the truth so he nodded quickly.    
  
“Of course” Alec lied. He would manage the last 4 days without any money and if not he could ask Jace when he came back in three days. Alec’s family had enough money, but they didn’t want their kids ‘surfing’ through life, so unless he really needed it, Alec lived off the same amount of money any other student would.    
  
“You are my knight in shining armour” Jace flashed him a wide grin and grabbed his face, kissing Alec’s forehead before he turned around and spun out of the room to get his shoes and get his and Clary’s stuff down to the waiting car.    
  
Even though ‘the car is here’ should have meant Clary and Jace would be out of there in a minute, it took almost ten before they had managed to get their stuff together and shut the door behind themselves.  Them  leaving left the place oddly quiet, and even the noise from outside seemed to die down some when Alec was left alone.    
  
Alec threw the empty noodle box away and went into his and Magnus’ room and sat down by his computer, deciding that he would get some work done to calm his nerves while he waited for Magnus to finish his shift at the bar.    
  
\------   
  
Alec had managed to distract himself by diving into school work, but when it was 2 hours until Magnus’ shift was done, Alec no longer could concentrate and saved his work and got up. He looked around the room and tried to decided if he should push his and Magnus’ bed together for the weekend, but deciding against it as it would be weird pulling them apart again.    
  
Pacing, Alec managed to get another 30 minutes out of the way with his worrying and walking in circles. 1 hour and 22 minutes until Magnus was off, and he would usually stay ten minutes extra and it took him 5 minutes to walk home so he would be there in 1 hour and 38 minutes.    
  
Alec decided to get the shower over and done with as he didn’t actually know how long it would take. Shedding his clothes, Alec stepped into the shower and let the hot water wash over him and slightly calm his nerves. Washing all of his body, Alec spent a long time making sure that every bit of his body was being cleaned, most importantly, every inch of his more private areas. He scrubbed himself hard enough to feel a little sore, but he just was worried to the point where he felt light headed and a little nauseous when he thought about what he was gonna do.    
  
When Alec came out of the shower, he dried off his body slowly and towel dried his hair quickly. Looking at himself in the mirror, Alec swallowed at how nervous he actually looked, but if nothing else it matched what he was feeling. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants, Alec let the towel hang around his shoulders as he pushed the bathroom door open and headed for the bedroom to find something to put on again.    
  
Pushing the bedroom door open, Alec froze when he saw Magnus standing over by his bed with his back against him, folding a piece of clothing. The sound of the door opening was enough to get Magnus’ attention and he turned around, a big warm smile on his face.    
  
“You’re early” Alec let slip, his heart racing in his chest as he looked at him.   
  
“Yeah, we were over staffed so I was allowed to go an hour early” Magnus smiled and walked towards him, but then stopped a few meters away from him, frowning slightly “are you  ok , Alexander? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost”    
  
Alec reached up and scratched the back of his head, pushing the towel off him, his damp hair wetting his fingers as he tried to calm himself. He thought he would have more time, that Magnus would be gone for at least another hour and he could have prepared, mentally.    
  
“Alexander?” Magnus said his name again, and the way those letters rolled off his tongue made Alec  want  to whimper in need, it just sounded so good.    
  
Taking a quick step forward, Alec framed Magnus face and leaned down crashing their lips together, knowing it would be easier if he jumped in on the deep end. He didn’t have time to deepen the kiss before Magnus pulled back and out of the kiss, which he never did.    
  
Worried, Alec took a step back and looked at him, unsure if his heart had sped up or stopped completely when Magnus gave him an apologetic smile.    
  
“You are acting really strange. What's the rush, sweetie?” Magnus asked, following him now and closing the space between them again, reaching out and brushing his fingers down Alec’s chest which put his mind a little at ease, at least Magnus hadn’t pulled back because he didn’t want him.    
  
“I’m nervous” Alec blurted out, not having planned on telling him the truth about how nervous he was, but he wanted this, he needed this.    
  
“Nervous? Because Clace is gone for the weekend? I thought you would be happy about us getting to spend some quality time together, alone” Magnus spoke so softly, so lovingly, it was hard to breath and think at the same time listening to him.    
  
“I thought that we could, eh” Alec bit his lip “you know, I thought maybe I could, or you could, you know” Alec was talking without thinking, the words exiting his mouth before he had the chance to weigh them and in turn they ended up making no sense “maybe, switch? If that makes sense and I’m really nervous because I haven’t, erm, been like that, under, you know- but it’s you, and I want to, with you”   
  
Alec stopped talking when he noticed that Magnus didn’t weigh in like he usually did when he was loosing track of his words and stopped making sense. Swallowing, Alec looked at Magnus and was suddenly filled with dread when he saw his reaction, or the lack of his reaction.    
  
“Oh my God, you don’t want to” Alec would have blushed if there had been any blood left in his system, but he just felt cold, like it had all been replaced with ice cold water. For some reason, the fact that Magnus might not want to hadn’t even crossed his mind, and now that it did it was mowing down every other thought in its way making the thought all consuming. He had been so worried about how it would be, if it would hurt, if he would feel awkward and now all he wanted was to hit himself for not having considered it. “I’m sorry, just forget I said anything” Alec said and turned around on his heels, wanting to escape to somewhere, possibly the bathroom as it was the only room with a lock.    
  
“Alexander, wait” Magnus grabbed a hold of his arm and Alec wanted to pull away, wanted to just get as far away as possible from the entire situation.    
  
“Please” Magnus pulled at his arm until Alec was turned around. Looking down, averting Magnus eyes, Alec shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not wanting to be there.    
  
Alec was tense, but Magnus touching him had the opposite effect of what it would have had if they weren’t actually alone, so when Magnus hands came around his waist and his warm hands rested against the small of his back, Alec was able to breath a little slower.    
  
“I don’t want to forget that you said it” Magnus said and now he was so close his warm breath tickled Alec’s skin. “And don’t think I don’t want to…” Magnus fingers dipped beneath the waistband of Alec’s sweatpants “... I  don’t think I can think of anything I want more actually” Magnus said and his tone was darker now, carrying a hint of something else.    
  
Daring himself to look up after that, Alec met Magnus’ eyes as he chewed on the inside of his lower lip. Magnus had a soft look on his face, but there was something else there as well, something other than lust.    
  
“I’m sorry if I even for a second gave you the impression I didn’t want it… or you” Magnus short, painted nails scratched softly at his skin, sending small jolts of electricity up Alec’s spine. “You just surprised me” Magnus added, and the thing about his expression that Alec had noticed became more clear.    
  
“Surprised?” Alec mumbled shyly, still not completely sure Magnus actually wanted this.    
  
“Yeah” Magnus took a deep breath, the warm air as he exhaled travelling around his throat and neck “what you suggested, you  bottoming , I didn’t expect it” Magnus’ fingers massaged the skin they reached as his hands moved a little further down Alec’s trousers, making his dick wake up and respond “and you  saying  you wanted to, with me… I dunno, it’s not just really sexy, it also made me feel special” Magnus’ words were a little lower at the end, almost like he wasn’t as confident about them.    
  
“You are” Alec confirmed quickly.   
  
“Am I really?” Magnus looked suddenly very vulnerable.    
  
“Yes” Alec nodded, reaching up to frame Magnus’ face with his hands who looked almost a little over sized “I’m sorry I don’t tell people, or Jace or anyone” Alec tried to breath slowly, trying to jumble the words in his head until he got them in the correct order before he spoke, needing this to be clear. “I don’t tell people because of me, it has nothing to do with you, you are perfect” Alec blushed at his own words, even when he tried to think about what he was about to say he managed to throw something in there that he hadn’t planed.    
  
Moving his hands, Alec’s fingers touched at the back of Magnus’ neck as he leaned in and kissed him again. If Magnus wanted this, and he did say that he did, Alec needed it to happen now. Magnus responded to his kiss this time and Alec relaxed in his arms as his lips moved over Magnus’, pressing more firmly up against him. Magnus’ tongue ran over his lips between the soft sloppy kisses before he sucked his lower lip into his mouth. Gasping, Alec walked backwards, guiding Magnus towards his bed.    
  
“Alexander” Magnus mumbled against his lips as they reached Alec’s bed. Clenching his eyes shut, Alec whimpered sadly, he didn’t want Magnus to stop this.    
  
“Please” Alec heard himself beg, not sure he could take another rejection, even if the first hadn’t been one per se.    
  
“We don’t have to rush this” Magnus said between kisses, but Alec was determined they would and had already started unbuttoning Magnus’ shirt and started pulling it off him the second he got the last button undone.    
  
  
“Please, Magnus” Alec tried again, not wanting to admit to Magnus just how nervous he had been and how nervous he still was about this and how he wasn’t sure he would be able to go through with it if he had to do this all over again. Deepening the kiss, pushing his tongue into Magnus mouth and tasting him as he twirled his tongue around Magnus, Alec felt relieved when Magnus seemed to take the hint and his hands moved over Alec’s body, exploring his naked chest and back while Alec undid his trousers.    
  
  
Alec was nervous, but when he felt M agnus  hands grab onto the waistband of his sweatpants he also realised how excited he was about all of this. He had already started pulling down Magnus’ trousers and now that Magnus was getting rid of his their naked bodies could be pressed fully against each other and Alec moaned in desperation as his own hard cock rubbed against Magnus’ in the most wonderful way. Swallowing each other's moans, Alec stepped out of the last of his clothing before pulling away only to get onto his bed, pulling himself onto it while he looked at Magnus, his eyes roaming over his naked body.    
  
  
Magnus was, in Alec’s mind, perfect and his caramel coloured skin glowed in the light from their bedside lamps, looking warm and inviting as Magnus got onto the bed after Alec. Magnus was a little shorter than Alec, but not by much and you wouldn't notice as he crawled up between Alec’s legs when Alec parted them for him. Alec leaned his weight on his elbows and dug them into the mattress, letting his head fall back as Magnus’ lips ghosted over the skin of his inner thighs. This wasn’t new or scary and Alec was fully relaxed as Magnus tongue left a wet trail up between his legs, gasping in pleasure and anticipation when Magnus’ lips left wet kisses up his twitching cock.    
  
Alec’s head was spinning as Magnus licked and kissed his full length, feeling his cock twitch and throb from the teasing as Magnus got comfortable between his legs. It was crazy, but Alec craved the touch and feel of Magnus as much this time as he did the first time, never getting used to it. When Magnus grabbed his cock, his fingers wrapping tightly around the base, Alec held his breath until his lips was wrapped around the head of his cock too and then exhaled with a moan. Magnus soft lips slid down his length, letting Alec bury himself in the wet warmth of his mouth while his hand moved to stroke him in time with his bobbing head.    
  
Dropping down flat on his back, Alec groaned deep in his throat and pushed his head back when Magnus took him deep. Feeling Magnus’ throat tighten as he swallowed around him, Alec’s mind shut down and all he could focus on was the heavenly feeling of Magnus.    
  
Alec was breathing hard, actually already feeling like he needed to hold back when Magnus pulled back, pressing his lips against the head of his cock and kissing it before letting it fully slip from his mouth. In that moment, Alec was so lost in pleasure that Magnus moving about finding what he needed didn’t even register until Magnus mouth was back around his rock hard cock, until that feeling was accompanied with slick fingers circling his entrance.     
  
Trying his best not to tense up, Alec breathed slowly and focused on the feeling of Magnus mouth instead, knowing that he would be able to handle the first part. Alec had tried in the shower the last week to let himself get used to having something, fingers, inside of himself, so when Magnus pushed the first and even the second finger into him he was able to stay relaxed. It felt weird and it stung a little when the second finger was added but it also felt strangely good once he got used to it.    
  
It was kind of interesting even if he felt vulnerable and exposed, but Alec didn’t actually understand why Magnus or anyone would enjoy this all that much until Magnus’ fingers suddenly hit something inside of him that made his entire body tremble almost violently. Moaning loudly, Alec gasped from the pleasure that shot through him, pushing his head back into the pillow as he rocked back, needing to feel it again. Magnus had been maintaining his erection with his tongue and mouth, but as soon as he found the spot inside of him he let Alec’s cock slip out of his mouth with a pop and instead focused that spot inside of him.    
  
“Fuck” Alec whimpered in pleasure as Magnus kept on rubbing the spot inside of him, sending his mind into a state of intense pleasure. Parting his legs more for Magnus, Alec fisted his hands into the sheets while clenching his eyes shut. Magnus lips and tongue ran over his full length as his fingers moved inside of Alec and what it made him feel was something completely new.    
  
“Ready to try?” Alec could hear Magnus ask though his foggy mind and nodded, not sure he knew exactly what he  was agreeing  to, apart from taking it to the next step. Slowly the fingers were pulled out of him, and once they were Alec realised he didn’t just miss the pleasure of his prostate being stimulated, he also missed the feeling of being filled somehow.    
  
Whimpering from the loss, Alec opened his eyes just in time to see Magnus roll a condom down over his own hard cock and like always, the sight of Magnus naked and turned on excited Alec to the point where he couldn’t hold back a moan. Meeting his eyes, Magnus and Alec kept their gaze locked together as Magnus leaned over him, his lube covered dick sliding between Alec’s parted cheeks teasingly as their lips met in a heated and eager kiss.    
  
Gasping against Magnus’ lips, Alec found himself rolling his hips back against the slick cock as their hands moved over each others bodies, rubbing and touching each other in all the right places. Alec’s eyes were closed again when his hands found Magnus’ ass, pulling him hard down over himself, surprising both himself and Magnus.    
  
“Please, just fuck me” Alec could hear himself whimper without having registered wanting to say it, like it came from some place deeper inside of him than what his brain didn’t control. Magnus grunted sinfully against his lips, clearly growing eager by the sound of him as he reached down and grabbed a hold of his own cock, angling it for Alec’s entrance.    
  
Time stopped, Alec was sure of it, as Magnus then started pushing into him. It wasn’t pleasant, not even a little bit as he was slowly being entered. Holding his breath, Alec was beyond thankful when Magnus stopped after what was probably just an inch or two, but felt like so much more.    
  
“Breath, baby” Magnus whispered as his lips moved from Alec’s lips and down the side of his face, tracing his jaw until he reached his ear, his breath warm as he exhaled sharply after each in breath. Alec tried to breath, tried to relax while Magnus kissed his face and nibbled at his ear, whispering encouraging and soothing words. Alec knew it would hurt, he had read about it, but he had also read it would become better so tried to do what Magnus said, to breath, relax and kept in mind the comforting words that if it  became  too much, he could make it stop.    
  
It lasted and lasted before Alec finally managed to relax enough for Magnus to try to push deeper, but not long after the pain returned and Magnus again stopped. The pain was different, not an all consuming and devastating pain, but it hurt nonetheless and Alec was thankful Magnus seemed to understand and gave him time to adjust without Alec having to say anything. When Magnus could move for the second time he was fully inside of him before Alec let out a new whimper.    
  
“Are you  ok , sweetie?” Magnus asked for maybe the tenth time as he pulled a little back allowing their eyes to meet. Alec swallowed hard and nodded, because it hurt but he wanted this, he knew he did and though it hurt, the feeling of being filled and how close he felt to Magnus was beyond pleasing.    
  
Magnus’ hands moved down over his arm, his chest and down to his parted thighs, rubbing the muscles as he leaned back down over him, leaving small butterfly kisses against his lips.   
  
“You're doing great” Magnus whispered “you’re so hot” he went on “you feel so good”.    
  
Alec parted his lips, letting Magnus’ tongue invade his mouth as he tried to relax, encouraged by Magnus’ words. He didn’t know how long it took, but at some point the pain Alec had been feeling had almost completely faded and he more vigorously returned the kisses, his hands running slowly down Magnus’ back. Filled with renewed confidence, Alec tried to push a little back against Magnus, unsure if he would be able to get the words past his lips about what he wanted a second time. Magnus took the hint, and  tho  a new shock wave of pain shot through him as soon as Magnus started moving, the slow rocking motions stopped them from taking over and the pleasurable feeling of being filled still grew.    
  
Magnus captured his lips, his soft ones covering Alec’s as he moved over him, keeping on reassuring him and calming Alec with his words between loving kisses. Alec didn’t know how he did it, knowing how good it felt to be inside of Magnus, he couldn’t fathom how Magnus could stay so calm being the one buried inside of him- but it was nice and soon Alec relaxed enough for Magnus to move more steadily.    
  
With long slow thrusts, Magnus moved inside of him and Alec shivered in pleasure whenever Magnus pushed into him, the head of his cock brushing and rubbing his prostate with each movement. Lifting his legs off the mattress, Alec hooked them around Magnus as his hands moved over his back, pulling him against himself, needing for him to be as close as humanly possible.    
  
Magnus moaned and let out desperate whimpers of lust as he rocked his hips, forcing the same sounds from Alec with each thrust. Trembling, Alec pushed his hips back against Magnus every time he thrust forward, finding a steady rhythm that both of them could maintain. What Alec had felt of pain earlier was completely gone and though the feeling was still strange, the feeling of Magnus being inside of him was slowly becoming something Alec loved and was sure he would crave.   
  
When Magnus’ hand moved down between their bodies and his fingers wrapped tightly around Alec’s cock again, Alec pushed his head back and moaned louder than he had expected, bucking his hips back onto Magnus and up into his hand. The feeling of everything was overwhelming and Magnus’ lips left a burning trail of wet kisses down his neck as his hand and hips moved in rhythm, pleasuring Alec in ways he hadn’t been aware existed and sooner than Alec wanted it, fire was pooling in his abdomen and sparking out though his body.    
  
“Ooh ...G-god ” Alec stuttered his nails digging into Magnus’ back as his climax built before it exploded through him like a hot wave of white light. Clenching and unclenching impossibly tight around Magnus’ ,  Alec on some level registered Magnus’ moans as he emptied himself between their bodies and into Magnus’ hand. The pleasure was blinding and Alec shook even as he started coming down from his climax, his lips and mouth feeling dry as he collapsed back onto the mattress.    
  
Magnus had moved though his climax and also did though his own before he too collapsed, breathing hard as he lay on top of Alec, his face buried in the crock of Alec’s neck, his breath tickling his skin.    
  
“Oh fuck” Magnus mumbled against his skin, his lips brushing over his skin in a way that sent shivers down Alec’s spine, even now.    
  
“That was ... ” Alec started, licking his lips to try to wet them again.    
  
“It was” Magnus mumbled, not moving.    
  
Alec wanted to comment on how good it had felt, wanted to say something about how he never had felt closer to Magnus, or anyone, he wanted to kiss him and hold him and make him promise to never leave- but instead he just lifted his arms up from the sheets and wrapped them tightly around his waist and held him in place, wishing Magnus could just read his mind.    
  
They stayed like that for a while until Magnus shifted and wiggled enough for Alec to have to let him go. Alec wanted to protest, but before he could, Magnus was cuddling up to him again having only gotten rid of the condom and stretched a little. Tangling his legs up with Alec’s, Magnus’ wrapped one lazy arm around Alec’s waist as they went back to silently enjoying each other's company.    
  
“Alexander?” Magnus voice sounded a little sore but soft when he broke the silence, his fingers tracing invisible patterns over Alec’s stomach and chest.   
  
“Mmhm” Alec nodded, feeling drained but impossibly happy.    
  
“ Wanna  have dinner date with me tomorrow? Here, at the flat” Magnus added that last bit quickly and Alec felt a pang of guilt for how he was being so secretive about it al but quickly shrugged it  off .    
  
“I’d love to” Alec mumbled, sneaking one arm up under Magnus and pulling him in tightly as he let his eyes drift shut for the last time that day.


End file.
